for years now my wife has insisted she doesn't do oral! her friends have told her how great it is but she always goes on about the link between pissing and germs. she likes me to go down on her and feels guilty not returning the pleasure, how do I get here to change her mind or is it a lost cause?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Glamourous Granny,

Oh my. Should read 'Get my wife to perform oral' i might register for typing lesson at local college!!!!!!

How about trying it while taking a shower together after soaping up?

The inconsistency doesn't seem rational, that she is afraid about cleanliness on you, but she isn't so concerned about it on her she lets you do it?

There are actually many women who just don't like to do it.

There are a few things to make it easier, like S&SM said, alleviate all cleanliness concerns, and also she might try just a little bit at first. She might have seen some porn that makes it look like if she can't take the whole cock and swallow everything, and keep going non-stop for 20 minutes without resting her jaw, she's doing it wrong.

urine is a sterile fluid unless I'm painfully mistaken. I'd have to say that your wife is paranoid and guilty for nothing. Explain to her that she has more junk going on downstairs for her and you're not dead yet so she should go to town ASAP.

You could also remind her that a natural process of male arousal is that all urine is blocked because it's pH levels will kill sperm.

Why's she so grossed out?

Loaf and JSG a LOT of women are grossed out by the idea of oral sex... Yes I know that urine is a sterile fluid and that when a man is aroused he couldn't pee to save his life that is not the point here so far as I can see some how loaf has to assure Mrs Loaf of that in a way she can accept.

Loaf has your wife ever performed oral on anyone? Perhaps she had a bad experience and has not been able to work through it. Has she got an very small jaw? That can also make giving oral painful.

I would suggest you have a long conversation in which you let her know how wonderful you think she is and how you would really like to move the sex to a new level BUT that you are willing to do this at her pace. Does she touch or fondle your penis at all? If not there is the starting point. Perhaps she would be happy kissing and licking the inside of your thighs without actually putting her mouth on your penis whilst giving you a hand job? Again just a starting point. Do as S&SM said make sure you are squeeky clean before starting to make love. (For me I like G. to smell a little bit - part of the turn on but in Mrs loaf's case probably not).
GG

Thanks for all the advice guys, as far as i am aware she has never performed oral on anyone. She has only started touching and stroking my penis during sex recently so she is becoming more comfortable with it each time. She always admitted that she thinks mens penis' aren't that attractive. Possibly that is her issue, I don't like cauliflower, so i don't eat it. She doesn't like penis', so she don't eat it!!!!!!!!!!

Taking a shower together, suggested lots. Denied lots!! Will keep trying though.

From what you say, I guess that your lady is already working her way up to new horizons so may be all you need is to give her time and be patient. YOu were patient for all those years, resist!

I do remember that when I was very young and innocent the whole blow job thing did not come so naturally to me either.
First of all it should be clear that one can take it easy. You don´t need to suck a man to orgasm every time (or any time). It can definitely be tiring and not very pleasant.
One can however have and give a lot of fun in a lighter way, kissing and licking and such.


Try to get to what is it that she finds unattractive in a penis. Is it just the hygiene issue? Shower just before sex was already mentioned. Is it the visuals? Be sure to give her plenty of chances to explore things in the dark.... I used to be terribly shy, darkness was definitely a great help to me in past times. Is it the taste or smell? Even the cleanest skin can seem to taste funny, if one is has a "prejudice" in the first place. What about using some nice tasting lotion? Recently I purchased a tasty fruity edible massage lotion from Freddyy and Eddy. It´s basically a lubricant that you can safely lick up, with no aftertaste what so ever. I used it to give a massage to my husband, and I definitely loved to lick his skin afterwards... there are so many more playing possibilities involved!

I am not very fond of cauliflower either.... but there are a few tasty recipes.... nice spicing makes a lot of things more attractive

LOL, T-rex, you offer a woman something like that she will chew it off!!

You say that she's never given oral before.
My guess is that she's scared or nervous and using the urine thing as an excuse.

She could be nervous because she doesn't know how. So take it slow. T-Rex may have been kidding with the chocolate thing (or maybe not) but he's onto something. Make it FUN. Use whipped cream and start with just licking. Let her get comfortable with her mouth being on your penis.

And if it is REALLY that she's freaked out by the urine, perhaps explaining to her that men can't pee while aroused would help her.

Good luck.

I can’t really add much to the wonderful advice you’ve already received, but I can speak on behalf of women for whom the act of giving oral sex did not come naturally or easily.

I didn’t go down on my husband for a long time. Many years, in fact. Looking back, I think my biggest hang-up was that I had never done it before and had no CLUE how to go about giving a blowjob. I was actually afraid that he would say I wasn’t doing it right. (‘course, I know now that there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to go about it, but I didn’t know that back then, lol.)

What helped me the most in that department was watching adult movies with him. After I’d seen a few dozen women do it a few dozen different ways, I finally realized that the act is as individual as the relationship and that it really wasn’t as difficult as some of the ‘how to’ things I’d read made it seem.

The downside of watching porn, however, is that the adult entertainment industry can put a lot of pressure on women to perform in ways that they are not comfortable. For example, I have a hyper-sensitive gag reflex and knew I could never do the deep throat thing. But once my husband told me that it was okay with him if I didn’t deep throat, I felt like a huge pressure had been lifted.

Another issue for me was, quite simply, that it tasted bad. Don’t laugh! And it wasn’t about cleanliness – he’s very clean – but for some of us, the actual taste of the skin in the genital region is not something that is inherently enjoyable. Flavored lotions were very helpful in learning to enjoy the taste.

Like a few folks have mentioned, the shower is a great place to start. The first few times I did it were in the shower, in the dark. (Being in the dark helped because I was embarrassed about him watching me at first.)

When she finally gets there – I’ll be optimistic and say ‘when’ not ‘if’ – you cannot encourage her enough! Seriously. And I don’t mean encourage her to perform the act, but rather to continually tell her how much you’re enjoying it. Even if it’s not any good or not exactly what you want, just keep saying how good it feels and boosting her confidence. Once she has done it a few times and starts to get the hang of it, you can tell her ‘faster’ or ‘harder’, but at first just stick with, ‘That’s great, baby!’

And finally, let her know right off the bat that it’s okay if she doesn’t bring you to orgasm and that she doesn’t have to swallow. I remember worrying that my husband would be offended if I didn’t swallow, but once he let me know that he didn’t mind if I spit, I was much more willing to perform the act.

I know I’ve repeated a lot of what has already been said, but I hope this helps a little. She sounds a lot like a younger me – I also felt horribly guilty that my husband enjoyed giving oral sex so much and I didn’t – but you are doing the right thing by letting her take it at her own pace and it sounds like she’s moving in that direction.

Play her this video:

http://www.5min.com/Video/How-to-Perform-Oral-Sex-3030

I'm not the sort of expert whose advice is guaranteed to get your wife to engage in mind-blowing deep-throat fellatio.

I will suggest being patient. Give your wife a lot of non-stop oral stimulation. While you are at it, slowly move into the 69 position and make it easy for your wife to reciprocate.

As for getting her to swallow, if she doesn't want to, then respect her feelings! I suggest that you agree on a signal to warn her when you are get close to ejaculation.

My wife adamently refuses to swallow semen. She doesn't like it when I use a condom. When we engage in oral sex, it is great. Swallowing is not really a vital issue.

A former girlfriend and I used to incorporate oral stimulation with our foreplay. When we engaged in mutual oral sex, I used a condom, so that climaxing wasn't a problem. Of course, we also used condoms as a means of contraception, when we proceded to sexual intercourse. Afterwards, we would procede to oral sex as a means of afterplay, which would turn into another round of foreplay, leading to intercourse.

Safe sex and clean sex is a nice combination.

Jeez Freddy, she's a cutie. While I tried to imagine it was me she was orally pleasuring, I was unable to considering the position of her hands.

It looked liked she was holding something with the girth of a beer can......sigh!

quote:

She has only started touching and stroking my penis during sex recently so she is becoming more comfortable with it each time

and

Taking a shower together, suggested lots. Denied lots!!

Sound to me that your wife is a bit conservative when it come to sex. Nothing wrong with that. Mine was when we married. It just that it may take some time for her to unlearn life long biases and prohibitions. After 20 years of marriange and 3 yrs dating, my wife has loosened up pleanty.

quote:

I don't like cauliflower, so i don't eat it.

My wife does not like cauliflower either unless it is coverd with Hollandaise. Something to consider.

MJ