My suggestions is to give but expect nothing in return. Your pleasing her may pay off. If she is into you, she will eventually come around but patience is a virture.

Hello, first post, moved after putting in wrong place actually...

I have a similar problem, as while I enjoy going down on my partner she doesnt reciprocate. While I've found the comments so far helpful, it's that first mentioning of it that's the problem.

Well, second. When I broached the issue of oral for myself (after months of giving her long, relaxed sessions of it and being patient) she simply said she 'wasn't comfortable' doing it, and we let it go. I don't know how to bring it up again AT ALL without sounding like I'm trying to force her into something.

Any help or advice would be much appreciated!

Thanks,
-DS

talk about it over a cup of coffee. have a serious discussion including how you feel and why it's important to you. ask her why she's uncomfortable..."i just am" is a cop out. find out what's really behind all that...many things can be fixed.

Welcome DS! First of all, no, you're not being unreasonable.

Second, I agree it would be best to have a sit-down discussion about it. It doesn't have to be a life-or-death conversation, but over coffee or something like ajay said. Emphasize that it is an expression of the love you share, that you do it for her for the same reasons, and that you're not just wanting it because you're a "horny guy" or something.

There could be a number of things that bother her or make her uncomfortable about oral. You didn't say whether you're a guy, so for the sake of argument, I will assume you are.

She may have had a bad experience in the past giving oral. Maybe she has a really sensitive gag reflex, and is terrified of gagging or throwing up (not very sexy). Perhaps it's the taste? How about a flavored lube (Sliquid makes some pretty tasty ones, check F&E's store) or a flavored condom? For you, try drinking some more pineapple juice and eating more fruits and vegetables. It will help your semen taste "better" from what I've read. Maybe she had a guy hold her head down (NOT a favorite of many women) and is afraid you'll do that.

She may not know whether you want her to swallow, spit, or cum elsewhere. Let her know that no matter what, it's okay with you. You can always work up to trying something else. I've never swallowed or spit, but I prefer B to cum on my boobs. To each his (or her) own.

She may not have given head a lot in the past, is inexperienced, and thinks that if or when she does to you, she'll be awful. Reassure her that practice makes perfect, and it will only get better with time. If she does, let her know vocally (making noise, saying things like "oh, right there", "keep doing that", "that feels so good", etc) that she's doing something right. Guys tend not to be as vocal as women, but let me tell you, we LOVE hearing a reaction! There are books on the subject, too like Tickle His Pickle, in the F&E store. They also have a review on it.

Are you groomed and clean down there? I love it when my husband is bare, it makes oral a lot more enjoyable. I've told him (and is another reason why I'm bare too) that no one enjoys flossing their teeth while giving head Make sure you shower or clean up a little first. Sweaty and smelly = icky = no head. Make a shower some foreplay if you'd like. It's all good.

If she's like a lot of ladies, she may have the "good girls don't do THAT" hangup. If this is the case, it may take some time and coaxing to get over, but it is possible. After all, she's perfectly willing to let you do it to her, so just encourage her to try, just for a few minutes at a time. She may discover she likes it a lot.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

Well said Phoenix.
Communication is needed here to try to find out the reason why,perhaps an intimate dinner with some nice wine and talk about what you'd like to try and test her reaction.
I'm more than happy to give head but I've never swallowed or spat either, I'm sure I would gag, I'd much prefer hubby to cum inside me or on my boobs as well.
Cleanliness is a big factor and being groomed is so much nicer than getting hair caught in your teeth,yuk maybe shower together and groom each other before being intimate so she knows everything is perfect, could help.
Good Luck.

And don't use a strongly scented soap... nothing worse than going to give head and getting a strong perfume that has nothing to do with your significant other!

and swallow....(just thought i'd throw a selfish man thing in...LOL!!)

Thanks to everyone, especially phoenix, for the helpful comments. I feel a little more confident about broaching the issue now. Oh and I am a guy, so.. *attempts deep, thoroughly masculine voice. fails*...hello!

Cheers,
-DS

Jumping on the band wagon here.

In trying to find some answers I came across this forum and this thread. I have had difficulty getting my wife to perform oral since about ten minutes after the wedding!
I've tried everything... turning her on, leaving her alone, pampering for months on end, communicating in depth till I'm totally ashamed of myself. I've hear all the excuses under the sun and have bowed to her every wish. Now I'm left just gagging for it knowing that if I ask for it she'll feel pressurised or it'll take the romantic edge off, despite her telling me to ask!! Go figure! And it's not like I want a ten hour blow job with her tonsils getting jammed, infact I much prefer licking than sucking and swallowing.

HELP!

Hi Doubtful
Welcome to the boards I am going to go through the usual:
You don't say how old you or your partner are
You don't say how much experience either of you has
You do state that 10 mins. after the wedding she would not give you a blow job... had she done so before?
Oh and are you aware most women DON'T give blow jobs?

Hi GG.

We're in our 40's, fair amount of experience, and yes she did, christ it was almost over the top!
Now that's the first time I've heard most women don't give blow jobs, most other stuff I've read was to the contrary.

Forgive me if I am rather slow of comprehending and correct meif I got it wrong, are you saying that your wife did give you BJ before marrying, and then she stopped?

I was wondering about that too Snow

Could it be that she is a little pissed that 10 minutes after the most romantic event in her life you didn't sweep her off in your arms but you wanted her to give you a blowjob?

Snowflake and GG.. Not exactly. It was fine for a while. I was receiving occassionally, probably once or twice a week, but more importantly with gusto and enthusiasm. Then after about a year it began to slide rapidly. Now it's generally on after I gripe about it, and then it's only temporary and half hearted.

Gogirl.. WTF? Sweep her off in my arms was an understatement. And no, I didn't demand a blow job, I never had to then, not for a good while. If anything it was the other way around.