This message has been edited. Last edited by: T-Rex,

I'd first check for general health factors - particularly thyroid problems (if you google "thyroid" and "libido" you'll see what I mean). If so, it's easily treatable.

Good luck!

Have you had a heart to heart with her about it?

I have come to appreciate that communication is the best aphrodesiac.

Definitely start with the physical, though that's pretty young to lose desire like that.

Describe what kind of husband you are so we know more of the story. Could you be a factor in her waning desire?

quote:

Originally posted by Freddy:
Definitely start with the physical, though that's pretty young to lose desire like that.

Describe what kind of husband you are so we know more of the story. Could you be a factor in her waning desire?

Subtle as usual Freddy!

I've known a number of men who have struggled with this issue in their partners and eventually found sometimes subtle factors such as:

• Day to day stress.
  
• Exhaustion.
  
• Underlying relationship issues.
  
• Pain during sex.
  
• Medications, e.g. certain anti-depressants.
  
• Hormonal changes, pre or post menopause, issues with testosterone.
  
• Fucking her younger sister.
  
• Blowing the nest egg on scratch-off lottery tickets.
  
• French kissing her mom (even briefly).
  
• Excessive use of the Flowbee vacuum hairstyling device.
  
• Really bad taste in music.
  
• Appearance of names other than hers in bedroom talk and/or tattoos.
  
• Collecting Star Wars figurines.
  

All these things can kill libido in women.

Should we ask the women on F&E to respond in a new thread: "What kills your libido? Share your personal experience."

This message has been edited. Last edited by: FlyGuy,

LOL, Flyguy! Yes, I can personally attest to all those factors being love-killers. Well, maybe not the Star Wars figurines, but don't get me started on GI Joes...

Thought I might spin things around and mention libido inflamers, a positive spin on this discussion. Some which add to my contentment and feelings of joy around my partner:

*A partner listening to my hopes and desires.
*Or just simply, listening.
*Doing something together that's fun and physical (hiking and biking, in my case).
*Working around the house together.
*A guy who does the dishes without being asked.
*Enjoying and discussing books or movies together.
*Affectionate touch and kisses, without immediately expecting sex.
*Telling me a certain romantic song, poem or story reminded him of me. Then playing it for me or reading it.
*Taking the kids somewhere to give me a chance to recharge.
*Reading to me in the evenings.
*Being light and playful, rather than doom and gloom.
*Asking me what I like sexually and then doing it. Openly telling me what turns him on even if it's something new to the relationship.
*Adult dates together where we don't talk about kids or mundane matters which won't matter in a month, let alone five years from now.
*Choosing couple 'battles' carefully and not reacting negatively every time there is disagreement.
*Cooperating on money matters and working together on common goals.
*Sharing some insights into your inner being in the form of a dream, old memory, significant thought, experience or observation during the day, etc.

Notice that most of these aren't remotely sexual. There are plenty of those triggers in my repetoire, too, but general good feelings of being with a partner who treats me with love and respect makes me a total sucker for sexual turn-on.

T-Rex I would suggest your wife needs a physical. There are several medical conditions that can cause lose of libido. You also say 'medium drinker, occassionally over the top' I don't know what you mean by 'medium' but alcohol can definitely knock the libido on the head. However, given that she is tired all the time I think a physical is the first step. Oh and check out this site http://www.doctorupdate.net/du_toolkit/s_sorters/s50.html Good luck to you both.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Glamourous Granny,

Woopy.........

quote:

I came home and received a massage andddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

And what??

Everyone goes straight for the physical, could very well be mental, not like crazy but other issues. Also daily life can really drain a person it is so easy to get in a rut and forget about having a sexual relationship with your partner. We for whatever reason tend to put EVERYTHING in front of the most important thing in our lives and that is our relationships, be it marriage, long term, whatever. No relationship especially a sexual one can survive if its ignored, it is the one aspect of your life that needs attention and effort put into it. Seriously, think about where your relationships would be if you didn't work at them. Anything worth having is worth working on and for especially when it is someone that you are either spending the rest of your life with or want to. Also, romance can go a long way into perking up that libido. As ladies work outside of the home more they need that romance to make them feel lovely, loved and lady like!
Start planning a date night where it is just the two of you with no interruptions, don't talk about work or chores just talk like you would if you were romancing her. If she likes to dance take her dancing, go for a moonlit walk, just do something to make her feel like she is special!

From the way this thread is unfolding, I'd really look at thyroid issues, and particularly the effects of T3 as well as T4 medication (which will be long-term, if the thyroid is malfunctioning). Google this stuff and you'll find there's a lot of info out there. Any record of problems with her parents? Tends to be inherited.

Wish you luck on this one - and let us know how you get on; you won't be alone in what you're experiencing.