Okay, this is better. I would like to learn what the guys have to say about this, since I am a woman dealing with a sensitive problem and would appreciate the man's point of view. That said, I in no way want to limit this discussion.

So, particularly when things aren't progressing according to plan in the boudoir, what helps and what hurts?

This message has been edited. Last edited by: <Anouk>,

As we discussed in the other thread, the old "It happens to all guys" speech really doesn't help. Really, nothing you could say would help a guy's wounded ego and masculinity at that moment because he's been dealt a real blow that is hard to handle. On top of that, there's the frustration that he may be horny as hell, but his equipment isn't allowing him to reach that much-desired release. (Talk about something that'll drive a man crazy.)

Having had a couple of years of experience with this problem, one thing that I think is nice is to not bother with words and go straight to actions. Cuddling can be nice, but touching is definitely the best when he's feeling down. Rub his chest, back, buttocks- stroke his hair- kiss him all over- anything to convey affection. His dick may not be hard, but the rest of his body can still feel, and it desires to be touched- to feel warm human contact. And don't ignore the erogenous zones just because he isn't aroused. Just because it's limp doesn't mean that touching won't feel good, and he may just get aroused. (Just don't linger in one place too long if he doesn't.) Worst-case scenario: He relaxes and falls asleep. Best-case: He gets aroused. Or, another best-case scenario, he relaxes and returns the favor and gives you sexual release. (That's what I always liked to do, and it took my mind off of the fact that I couldn't maintain an erection.)

Yes, of course. Actions speak louder than words. Thanks, Martini Man.

One time, I recall doing some online research on the prevalence of ED in men with high blood pressure and arteriosclerosis, like my husband has. It was an astounding 50%.

We were sitting around one day just talking about health issues when I told him what I had found out. I was hoping he would feel less alone in his suffering. His reaction was one of stunned silence. I said, "You look upset. I thought it might help to know that this is a common problem." He said with a slight chuckle, "Well, I'm thinking about the 50% that still can do it. Why can't I be in that half of the population???"