Hi everyone I am new here and I love it! I have a question. My hubby -J- is a wonderful husband and father. He is very handsome and has a gnice body and a great package. I love him very much, and I am attracted to him, but I have a hard time wanting to have sex. We have a 2 year old and he wears me out, so I am tired at night. I don't want to use that as an excuse. When we start having sex I get into it and it is great!!! However it is getting me to that point that is hard. Am I just lazy or what, I want to have mind blowing sex all the time, can someone help me?I am a very sexual person, I love everything that has to do with sex, I just have a hard time getting motivated and turned on.Keep in mind my husband would do it 10 times a day if he could. I feel bad that I don't keep him as satisfied as I should.Help me!!! -K-

I don't think having a 2 year old has anything to do with it. I also have trouble "initiating" sex. If he wants to, he is usually the one to start things off. I don't really understand it all that well either. I know that since I have been off of the pill, my sexual desire is getting much better, but still not as much as he would like I'm sure.

Don't feel like you are alone, I'm with you girl!

I feel your frustration, but from the opposite side. I have a much higher sex drive than my fiance (yes he finally asked!), and it is a big ego-smasher not to have my lover frisky at the same time I am. There has been a couple times where I have guilted him into giving me what I wanted, but it is never quite as satisfying as when he jumps my bones when he's in the mood. I'm a HUGE supporter of communication, and I have told him how I feel. Have you tried telling your hubby about your lack of wanting to initiate sex? Does he try to guilt you into having sex? Believe it or not, sex ENERGIZES you, makes you feel better AND gives you very restful sleep. Don't give in to his request for sex because you feel obligated. When your're tired and really don't feel like it, have a no-holds-bared sex-a-thon. My son will be 2 this year and he is a boundless source of energy. He runs us ragged EVERY day, but no matter how exhausted I am, I work extra hard to make sure my lover feels just as wanted now as when we first met. Sex is a great stress reliever, makes you glow, and gives one hell of a workout!! You never know what other benefits you'll get and practice makes perfect!

This is one topic i feel right at home in. Sometimes, i felt like i had a problem. It seems like HE never wants it. But, we are working on that. The thing that got us started, was we would talk about what we love that the other person does. I think it gave him the confidence to keep doing it. And now if he is working, i will send him a dirty text message of what i want to do to him that night when he gets home. I usually get one back, that says "have the kids in bed by 8!"

I agree with the other posts. He thought everything was great. He was shocked at first when i told him i wasn't satisfied, but we are able to talk and things are getting better. Good luck to you!

Oh Yeah!

Sometimes, our diets had a lot to do with our drive. I find that now that we are getting in shape and eating better, we have more energy for the things we want to do. I am not sure if that is an issue with you, but it worked for us!

I have to agree with you brookieb -- you are what you eat and exercise is important as well. The combination changes your metobolic rate as well as your energy level. I've found less carbs - more fiber and protein with 20 minutes of exercise a day increases my energy level.

I found this article
Rosie's Sex Drive

You guys are so awesome! I appreciate all of your feedback. My husband and I talk alot about this subject! I have even been to the doctor to see if my antidepressants were causing it.I think alot of it is emotional. We are working on it,I mean when we do have sex it is great!!I just want to feel like having sex all the time. You know where you can't keep your hands off eachother! Anyways thanks again guys! -K-

I also tend to stay away from dairy products...they seemed to drain me of energy. Plus nobody like cheese breath.....ew!

I think having a 2-year-old can decrease your sex drive. Having kids in general can do that. I'm not saying all the time, but frankly, you can get tired and at the end of the deal feel like having some time just to call your own. Also, you can't do it whenever you want once you have kids. My favorite time for sex is on the week-ends during the day time, like right after lunch. We NEVER get sex at that time, with 2 kids around. Yeh, we could do a quicky, but not the fun and long type sex that I like during the day.

One of the kids is a teen, and when he gets to be about 20 I am going to tell him about the one million times he ruined our sex life by refusing to go to bed and leave us alone at night! LOL! He usually goes to sleep later than us, and keeps knocking on the door, wants to watch TV in our bed with us (the TV is on to cover the noise!)

We love our kids more than anything, even more than spontaneous sex. We just have to plan most of our sex now, but that's okay. Gives you something to look forward to.

Anyone who thinks having a 2-year-old isn't tiring or couldn't decrease someone's sex drive is a person who never took primary responsibility for a preschooler for any length of time, IMHO.

I'd have to agree seXXnpassion, kids can drain you fast, especially when added ontop of an already stressful day. And that brings me to my main point.

My wife tends to work herself rather hard during the day and after an evening of chasing and fiting with the kids she is about done. This has been a BIG proponent in our sex lives. We find that when she's had some time off, or some alone time, that she tends to be "more" interested in the idea of sex.

Since the birth of our children her sexdrive took a drastic dive south. It has slowly been coming back, but it's been a VERY long and bumpy road.

I wish you all the best of luck with your situation, but the best advice I can give is communicate and keep at it!!!

O.

our sex life depends on different factors for both of us every month..hell tell me youre almost 30 youre hitting your peak..hes getting old..then if work isnt going so great, or business is slow...so are we...i've had four kids..i say make that a reason spice it up..stolen moments..sneaking around..just dont ever give up..learn new tricks...everyone has at least 1 to share..yes lets share..lol

WOW you could have been talking about me. I have a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old and my sex drive is gone. I have been trying really hard but I just have no interest. I do find that when I am in shape I do think about it more.

Good luck.

Talking about who?
My beautiful wife and I have a two and four year old. Our sex life is slowly taking an upward turn .
Now I can't give all the credit to F&E, (I would like to think that w have sompthing to do with it) the support we have gotten from this sight has certainly not been a hinderance.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will find as the kids get more able to entertain themselves, you will find more time for each other.

Hugs

Anti-depressants, young children, exhaustion... I'd think all these would conspire against a high libido.

Many doctors won't know much about it (but some will act like they do). You might check with an OBGYN who specializes in this. Here is a good example of an OBGYN who specializes in this issue, in case it helps.