Hi, I wanted to introduce myself and say hello to you all. After reading alot of the post I feel comfortable enough to ask for some advice on something, ok here goes.. I am 34 I dated A guy for 10 years and all we did was oral and finger play never intercourse well he wasn't satisfying me so I ended this with him I met A new guy and well lost my virginity to him it was great I have been with him for 2 yrs now, I am somewhat shy when it comes to sex about being the one to get it started and things so he tells me I need to be the one to do that well when I do he turns me down saying it isn't ready and turns away from me and goes to sleep leaving me angry , I am a very horny woman I would love to have sex several times A day and night, he talks about it all the time as well but just does not put out,before we got together he said he had sex all the time I asked him well why not now he said it was because the sex between us satisfying, and the sex is great, we on the average have sex 2 maybe 3 times a month , does anyone have any suggestions .......

Two or three times a month?

TWO OR THREE TIMES A MONTH???

TWO..... OR ....THREE.... TIMES..... A......MONTH.....?????


A MONTH????

MONTH???

ME MEDIC!

Welcome Angellina!
I think you rather shocked poor Chance. I think if you've been on our boards long enough, you know what the answer is to your dilemma. You've been with your current boyfriend for 2 years, and you are feeling unsatisfied. I'm gathering that you have tried to communicate with him, over the years, and to no avail. First, I think you need to put your needs ahead of everything in this relationship. I hope you don't take this too personally(although you are asking for our opinion), but do you masturbate? If I was only having sex 2-3 times a month, my vibes and I would be best friends. Masturbation is the first lesson you have to teach yourself, to really understand your body and yourself. But back to your current situation....If you have communicated with your boyfriend by really sitting down and talking, role-playing or even going to therapy, and you are not getting any further with this matter, you really need to see if this relationship is in for the long haul. Since you have had only 2 lovers and you are at the height of your sexuality(being in your 30's), I would step back and look at the big picture about what you want out of a relationship. You deserve to be happy, and fulfilled. Sex is a large part of this, and if your partner cannot see that this part of your relationship is suffering, they are turning a blind eye. You deserve better. I hope to hear more of both of you and the improvement on this matter. I'm sure you will be getting lots of different opinions from our friends here at F&E.

Hi thanks for the welcome and your input, didn't mean to shock Chance lol, yes I do masturbate "alot" he suggests that I masturbate which to be honest makes me mad I don't mind masturbating I even like for him to watch but unless he is in the mood he doesn't want to do that either, and I have voiced my concerns over this with him, I have told him all my fantasies of stuff I want to try and they are alot of stuff I want to try,and I am beginning to look at the long term of this relationship and my needs that are not being fufilled, but thanks for the replys if anything new happens I will let you know.

Welcome Angellina. I am hesitant to offer my advice since this is obviously a serious subject for you, but I will anyway. Here are my free thoughts. Just remember that most times when it is free, you get what you pay for

First and foremost Eddy is right on. It is very important to understand yourself, your wants, needs, desires, from a relationship, sexual and nonsexual. These have a habit of changing as we go through life but they should always be addressed.

Secondly hopefully your partner is a good person who just needs a little help but either way do not fall in the trap of accepting blame for his issues. He wants you to initiate sexual activity but when you do he turns away, he used to have sex often in previous relationships but not with you now therefore it's your fault. I don't think so! Sounds like he may have some passive agressive traits going there.

I don't believe in just walking away from a problem but if both of you are not dedicated to making the relationship work equally for both your needs, then perhaps it is not meant to be.

Hopefully you guys can work things out and move forward.

Sexuality is way to much fun not to enjoy it to the fullest and I hope someone has thrown cold water on Chance and revived him

Hi, Angellina
Welcome aboard! Very friendly people around here!!
But I want to put in my two cents worth -- your boyfriend says he use to have sex all of the time and his libido is down? Has he started taking any new medication? Has he had a checkup lately? Think he could be depressed, even a little? Before you resign yourself to a life of batteries and plugins, maybe you should get him to get a check up.

Good luck!