My roommate is leaving for the weekend!

So what I'm looking for is any advice or tips for having sex for the first time. I'd also love to hear stories about everyone else's first time if you don't mind sharing.

Anything that might make things go smoothy or make us more comfortable. I've heard that having an orgasm before attempting penetration for the first time helps, what do you think?

Wow Erin, you have done the impossible. Silence from the board.

Giving advice about something so precious is kinda scary.

My advice I guess will be this.

Go into the weekend with no preconceived notions of how it will go. The actual act should be a natural extension of what you guys are already doing within the relationship, a normal next step, not a huge leap.

Have a sense of humor. Be able to laugh at yourself and your fella. Okay, might want to be careful here. Laughing when he takes his pants off could be a issue for him.

Relax.

As far as orgasms before intercourse I'm sure it's an excellent idea. For him as well

My first time the thing I remember most now is he got some pubic hair rolled up in his rubber and hurt himself trying to take it off

Will be thinking of you this weekend. Enjoy!

I agree with Silk (imagine that) and would only add that you should go in with the expectation of NOT doing the deed. Take the pressure off and just enjoy each other's company. If the heavy petting starts, just let it flow naturally and don't worry if it doesn't lead to actual intercourse.

Most of all, have FUN.

Ah... that magical first time... yeah... I was drunk, she was drunk, we were at a high school party... First time I had ever been drinking... Bad combination, ten shots of Cuervo, a keg stand and having sex in a hall closet. Wish I coulda called "Do-Over" on that one.

~Ranger

the only small bit of advice i can gives comes from my father (and is the only bit no one hits me for remembering)...

don't worry about it. just let it go

and ranger... i'll just be quiet about you and any closet comments, but you know what i'm thinking

Making sure you and your partner are comfortable with each other and the situation is the most important, but I think you've been working towards that already. Setting the mood, lighting candles, clean sheets, some musice you love, all of it helps to relax you and make the moment more special.
If you can have a shower together, the warm water and just caressing and being slippery together can also help relax you. Working your way up to actual penetration is important too, but I've followed your posts and I know you're working towards it already.
I hope that you enjoy yourself, and don't do anything you're not comfortable with.
I remember my first time, and I always will. He was my first BF, later my husband. It was Summer, and I lived on an Island on the West Coast of Canada. We were swimming on the far side of a small island that was open to the ocean. No one around, the water was warm and everything was clean and fresh and tasted of salt. I remember the tastes, the sounds, the sights so well even now. It was dusk, the sun was just starting to set. The sky was painted violet, pink, orange and gold. We just sat beside each other watching as a few stars started to pop out. We listened to the waves crashing and rolling, greedily sucking the slick wet pebbles back and forth on the shore.
He kissed me, and it tasted like the ocean. My first kiss. We were wearing only bathing suits, and we just slowly explored each other through the wet fabric. I trusted him utterly. Everything felt so right, so natural.
All the sensations were new to me, surprising me. I'd never touched myself before, so I had no idea what to expect. He was so gentle, and the give and take just flowed, so smoothly.
We undressed each other and laid back on a wide flat tree trunk that had washed up on the beach. I remember the feel of the cool salt air on my naked body. The warmth of his mouth as he explored my body, tasting and trying me for the first time. The sky had deepened in colour, dark blues and viloet, velvety with a dusting of silver stars starting to shine. I felt as if all my senses were awake and alive for the first time ever. Trusting him made all the difference. We just enjoyed exploring each other until the sky was black and the only light to see by was the silver light of the moon and the stars.
It was my first time, but I wasn't able to actually achieve full intercourse until 3 months later, I had an unfortunate painful muscle reaction that took time and patience to overcome. But for me, that was still my first time despite full penetration, and it will stay with me.

What a beautiful memory Kumura. EK, you can't go wrong with what the other members here have said. But I think you will have a wonderful weekend. You've learned a lot over the past months here. Especially to really love yourself so that Eddie could see the real woman that you are. As everyone has said, don't put the pressure on yourself to have this bump and grind sex. Let yourself be flirty, passionate and everything will fall into place. Enjoy your weekend together.

Erin,

How was your weekend? Not that we're trying to pry or anything but inquiring minds want to know if all the advice and thought have helped out in the grandest way?

Buck,

How rude

I'm glad you asked so I didn't have to

I know, I know, I'm just a horny young man trying to live that part of my life vicariously again!

BTW, those were pretty flowers this weekend.

Sorry that it has taken me so long to reply. I have been slowly suffocating under a large pile of term papers, presentations, rewrites, and studying.



So...last weekend, eh? It didn't quite go as planned. Thanks for all of your advice, especially the bit about being able to laugh at ourselves. That came in handy.



When we attempted penetration, after a lot of enjoyable foreplay, it hurt a lot, and he couldn't get very far in. I think that after it hurt initially, I got nervous and tensed up. So we kept trying for a while, but eventually we got to the point where we just weren't turned on anymore. We tried again later in the evening, and got a little bit further, but not much. The next day, we hardly attempted penetration at all, because I was rather sore.



So it is a good thing that we are very comfortable with one another, because we were able to laugh at ourselves and not let our disappointment ruin the weekend. We were rather embarrassed, seeing as having sex is supposed to be so natural and instinctual...



We may have one or two more opportunities during the last two weeks of school, but after that I'm off to D.C. for an internship. Maybe we'll get the hang of it next year.

Quote:

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It was my first time, but I wasn't able to actually achieve full intercourse until 3 months later, I had an unfortunate painful muscle reaction that took time and patience to overcome.

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Kumara, it sounds like you were in a similar situation. Any tips?



I was thinking of getting a dildo that is larger than the tiny purple one from F&E, so that I can work on improving the situation over the summer. Would that be a good idea? Yes? No? Maybe so?

Good to hear from you Erin! It sounds that despite the minor difficulties, things went well. I'm happy for you.
I actually had a good docotr who helped me through it. Simple muscle exercises, kegel exercises, patience and time were what helped. Once I learned how to use those muscles, I could feel the difference, and try to open them more, if that makes sense.
I actually have a diagnosed condition, vaginismus, but it is very uncommon. It still took time, lots of time, and patience. He had to try to enter sooo slow, so carefully. It was still painful, it just worked best to attempt intercourse in stages.
The toys may be a good idea, being well lubricated as well helps.
You know yourself a little better now, and you just need to keep exploring. Deep breathing, relaxed atmospheres, time and solitude with yourself or your partner to explore and play helps. The kegel exercises are the best help I found though.
Good luck, and any other questions, ask away!

yup... A mop would have put more energy into it.

~Ranger

Hey Silk...

I was just wondering...If you and Ranger are the 'REAL" clowns of this message board? Everytime I read your replys I laugh my ass off. Is it just me?