I'm looking for advice as to how i should break it to my wife that I would like her to do me with a strap on. I've already got her poking around with her fingers when she goes down on me, but the strap on is an entirely different ball game. I'm not sure what she'll think (she's pretty sexually conservative) and I'm worried about freaking her out. Any suggestions?

while she's probing, reach in the nightstand drawer and hand it to her....."use this baby!!"

not very subtle, but hey....

Or, if you consider it to be this type of a situation, sit her down and talk to her about the things that you wish to do to her... and bring it up DURING the conversation. This way you know, and other interests may also come up in the conversation..

Plus, do you really want to just whip it out of the drawer, say 'here baby, use this'... and have your ass right there while not knowing her response?... That could be painful if her response isn't anywhere near positive...

Kathy

I think you need to start with an anal stimulator. If she'll go there with her fingers, you can talk her into using that on you. Then once she sees how you respond, you could broach the subject.

Anal stimulators or butt plugs might be the graduated route you need. If you pull out a strap on and she's conservative, she might just make a run for it.

I think its always a good idea to keep it in perspective. She doesn't know you think about this to the extent you do. Those fingers may have played with you a little but she might not think much about it. You have taken the leap in your mind and you're ready but that doesn't mean she's prepared.

My wife is probably thinking about coupons right now.

Step 1. Ply her with wine or perhaps another favourite drink (mudslides, pina colada's)

Step 2. During anal exploration, hand her a larger toy, like a long vibrator. (per ajay)

Step 3. With it partially inserted into you, see if you can get her to kneel behind you with the remainder of the toy nestled between her pussy and clit

Step 4. (If she goes for step 3, and perhaps thrust's a little) give it a few days and repeat, but this time give her the strapon and see if she goes for it.

Disclaimer:

Writer has not had actual experience, but has been pondering the 4 steps.

How about just being straight forward and speaking honestly to her.

MJ

Talking about it works too. However, he does say that she is "conservative" and I take that to mean that she may have difficulty vocalizing or having open discussions about the goings on in the bedroom. And it's ok to be a doo'er and not a discusser.

My suggestion is merely designed to lead her in that direction. She may have already thought about performing this sex act, but she may not be able to talk about it.

I personally can totally relate.

Fraggle: I did not mean to imply the statement was in reponse to yours. I meant to say that most of the time the simplier path is the best.

JibbrJabbr: My wife was also very conservative when we were married. It took a while (years that is) for her to open up enough so that we would talk about it. I found that the more direct the easier it was for her to respond. However, it took more than one conversation, it took many over several years. Each conversation opened her up a little. In my case, the wait was worth it.

So my advice: Go slow and be patient. It will be a long process. You may also need to realize it will never happen.

MJ

This message has been edited. Last edited by: mjbarbag,

When Basil wanted me to try it, he simply asked me, and yes, I was VERY conservative when I first met him. It's worked out, but doing him with a strapon isn't something that really turns me on at all.

hey no prob MJ. I rekon things get lost in translation and "context" is almost impossible to establish.

I guess at the end of the day it's all about what works for you and yours.

As for your comment Donnaly, I dont think I could give up my rear end to a strapon unless it was a turn on for my spouse. But that's just me....

Thanks for all the advice. this has certainly be helpful. I'll keep you posted

Fraggle, we have a "try anything once" policy for the most part, unless it's something where the mere idea really disgusts or turns off both of us. Since I really didn't know much when I met Basil, it's hard to know if something new turns me on before I try it.