Hi, I'm totally new here. I'm hoping to get some advice.

I seem to be undergoing a sexual awakening that I have been totally unable to share with my husband. I find myself thinking about sex all the time, wanting to find new, fun things to do. However, I am still rather bashful when I try to talk about sex with my husband. Whenever I try to throw something new out there, I feel crushed by the weight of his indifference. A few weeks ago, I sent him an e-mail with a link to this site (the main site, not these boards). I'm trying to tell him that I want to try new things, that I am open to anything. I was really hoping to get some kind of reaction out of him. NOTHING.

It is really embarassing for me. I guess I kind of had this idea that my husband would be excited by my attempts at openness, at my willingness to experiment with things like porn, or toys, or ANYTHING. It makes me feel rejected. I don't know what to do.

Welcome to the boards! Don't worry about feeling bashful or unwanted about this. It would seem that we've seen a rash of women lately that are having the same experience and not getting the kind of response that they'd imagined or hoped for from their partners.

Probably the best advice I can give you is to not give up so easily. The best thing to keep in mind is that us guys are pretty thick headed sometimes and you just about have to beat us over the head with new ideas before we get excited about it. If you're adventurous send him an explicit email stating exaclt ywhat you expect him to do to you some night or what you plan to do to him when he gets home from work. Surprise him with a quickie in the morning when he's not expecting it. Basically, take this newfound awakening out for a test drive with him. He should definitely start coming around once he learns that you're serious about this stuff. Relax, have fun, and enjoy it all!

Hi Va! I'm kind of new here too.

If you're feeling a little too shy to talk to him then maybe it would be a good idea to expand on the things you already know he likes. For instance if you know he likes a good blow job then maybe seek out some new "how to" techniques on fellatio that you haven't tried before and put those to use. Or if there's something else that you already know he would respond to then maybe by taking that thing to a new level and having fun with it more doors will open up. Like Buck said though relax and have fun and I bet when he sees how much you're enjoying yourself he'll come around.

S

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Ms. Pear,

I am new here also and feel like I know exactly where you are coming from. My husband and I have always had a good sex life, but I also felt the need to seek something more. I did it by being on a sight looking at "Toys" when he came home one day. To my surprise, he found that most exciting..and it opened many doors. I am still hesitant about some areas and am working on those...in some areas he is more adventuresome than myself and I think he is working on those!!! Just take the leap...if he doeasnt respond right away, try again...men sometimes are slow in reception, but he will get the hint. Great lingerie and web sites really helped me pass the hint along. Good luck, I totally get where you are coming from.

Va,
my suggestion would be to describe what you are imagining and ask for it. If you are not very comfortable talking about it, an e-mail or a conventional letter is an alternative.
Sometimes we don't know exactly what we want (especially if we have not practiced enough with masturbation, look who is talking), try some erotica books (The Sweet Life 1 and 2 gave me several ideas).
Be proactive, don't get discouraged, if he says no, ask him to describe how this makes him feel. Communication!! key to everything.
Good luck

Hey Stella - cool new name -,

I was just curious how things are going for you with this topic. I know these things can take time, but I was just wondering if there's been anything new. You don't have say if you don't wanna, just felt like I should tell you that we're still in your corner and cheerin'!

S