Hi

I'm very fresh here and I have browsed through your forum some times. However, I can't find any answer on a question of mine.

My girlfriend (for almost nine years) does not like anal sex but I do. I have seen that this is a common problem and I know that there are many reasons why she doesn't like it. We have talked about it but she didn't tell me why she didn't like it. This is a minor problem nowadays. A decission between her and anal sex is an easy one.

On the contrary, my issue is this. I love being analy stimulated. When she rubes a finger back there I go nuts. I almost tend to stop making love and enjoy the pleasure. Once I took out some lub and put it on her fingers and that made "great" even better. I want her to use a strap-on on me. As simple as that. One might think.

However, and this is one big "however". I love watching porn. She doesn't. I have approched her with the idea of using toys in our love sessions. She is reluctant to this. I know that she is brought up in a family where sex is not openly discussed. For me, this is almost the opposite.

I have tried to approach her with new ideas regarding sex and she is more and more open for ideas. My latest "trick" is to have her watch romantic soft pron. I know that she goes wild in bed after watching these chick flicks. I will see how she reacts after my first one and then I will get more and more bold if she likes this.

How do I suggest to her or approach her with the sexual ideas that I have? And another question. Does anyone have any good suggestions about romantic movies with some explicit sex scenes?

Thanks.
Sebastien

Paris its all about commnication and willing to honor you lovers interests and wishes.

When embarking on new frontiers with somone who hasn't shown any interst you have to meet them where they are and take baby steps.

Be willing to take it slow, try this,

Hey you know how much I like to have my bum stimulated, so I got some of these beads. I heard about them on a show on HBO. I want to try them.

Put them ins yourself, and just have her pull them out when you are coming. When she sees how you explode (or rather sexplode) she will be WOW theses is a trick I can use on him.

A little at a time and you will get to where you want to go.

Welcome Paris!
Heroic speaks the F&E Mantra very well. Communication is first and foremost. I think that you will have to be very patient with your gal since she has vocally told you that she is not into it. At least she plays with you and your interest in anal play. That's a start. I think as your relationship continues and the trust gets stronger her interests will either wane or be more anal positive. But it seems she is getting more sexually charged with your efforts. Woo-Hoo! I think you are doing great with the baby steps and communication.

The only thing I would point out, is that it may not be lack of interest, but rather she has been sheltered. It sounds like you were exposed to sex a lot more growing-up than she was. So you are more comfortable with all of it. I would bet that she was brought up to be a "good" girl and a lot of this may just be new to her. Her confidence needs to be bolstered and her horizons expanded. Anal play especially has a "stigma" attached to it. It will take exposure for her to see that she isn't a deviant because the two of you enjoy it. Sometimes it can take a lot to overcome the "good" girl education. I'm not sure if you have cable, but you might want to watch with her the HBO show "Real Sex", it might even be available on dvd. It will show alternative sexual practices, lifestyles, toys, etc. Some of it is silly, but some she might find interesting. It might give you a starting point to show her that "real" people participate in these activities, not just porn stars. I don't know if she is a reader, but you could also get her some light erotica and see if that helps. She might get turned on by some of the stories and be more comfortable sharing them with you. Good luck!

Paris,

Here is a link to a thread about what you want your lady to do for you. Some of these guys really rave about it. Those testamonials might halp you out.

http://freddyandeddy.groupee.net/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/600100012/m/6671044761

Alos you might want to share some of the testamonials from this site with her.
http://www.malegspot.com/forum.php

I have to say after reading that site, I'm considering it myself.