Ok, My husband and I are total virgins to anal. This past weekend while using a vibe with him he expressed the desire to have me slip it in him, well being virgins the vibe was a bit too large and maybe I am just too nervous to push too much, he did not say it hurt or act like it did. So I used my fingers instead, this worked very well, he seemed to have a orgasm, but did not ejaculate then but did later with oral. Is this how it works with anal?? He seems to be enjoying my fingers very much but his erection softens up. I am not sure just what my fingers are supposed to be feeling in there....I know the prostate is there but not sure what I'm feeling for or just where I should be trying.
WE both found this a very ertotic experience and want to keep exploring, just want to know how to make this a great experience for us.
Thanks for your help.
Honey

Honeydew

Check out this post from May 10 by "blue". I had a similar experience to this. Very intense. And depending on your husbands comfort level with the whole thing, it can soften an erection because he is focused on what you are doing to his ass, not his cock. So keep on stroking to get it back up!

http://www.freddyandeddy.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=1296&page=4&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1

Taz, thanks for the link- What Blue wrote is just about what we experienced, so I guess we are on the right track..
After the results we got so far this will not be virgin territory for very long..
It is so cool to find new ways to play.
Honey

Honeydew

It IS really cool and fun to discover all these new feelings and sexual awakenings at our age. Up until 6 months ago, I thought we had pretty much run the course for "trying things" sexually. Boy, was I ever wrong! Bast has enabled and guided me to better self understanding and sexual awareness. I would even call it enlightenment because I'm so often put into a blissful state just thinking about some of the things she has done to me. Now I often find that when I'm talking to some of our friends, I've got this smug little smile on my face, because I'm thinking about the incredible things that happened to me that morning, or I'm thinking about what I'm going to do to Her in short order!

As fas as what I felt about blue's post when Bast did that to me - I think I had an out-of-body experience, it was so intense. This rarely happens to me, but I lost track of what I was thinking and where I was during that little exercise.

You are right about that, never too 'old' to wake up. WE are 48 and 51, married 30 years and pretty much in the sexual rut up untill this past Feb or so. We just had to open up our communication and the rest bloomed from there.
It does take a willingness on both sides to make this jump in your sex life or it is just not going to work out. WE have tried so many new things and are just wondering what took us so long??!
If you would have told me 8 months ago I would be on an adult web site message board and talking about my sexual life I would have laughed in your face.

Thanks Freddy and Eddy for a friendly place to do that.

Our friends have even started to notice our renewed 'energy' when we are whispering in each others ears, I think they want to know what were 'on'.

Honey

Honey,

You have probably already checked out Violet Blues Tiny Nibbles site - more specifically the 'rimming' information. If not, then you might want to take a look. I had never thought about giving Taz an anal massage (or anyone else for that matter!LOL) but want to try that the next time I am giving him a really good back massage - think he would mind?

From your posts I gather this has been a new exploration of his likes in this area - what about yours? Has he pleased you in this way before?

OK - as far as letting Bast play around with my backdoor - well, it took me a while to allow it. Just one of those early programming issues. When I finally did get comfortable allowing her to screw around back there, she used all sorts of dildoes, vibrators, and her fingers. I always found anything larger than her fingers simply too big for my comfort level. I now completely understand how some women feel when a guy tries to enter this way.

So I stay away from anything except the occasional finger, which is wonderful, or the occasional tongue, which is mind-blowing. You might consider doing that to your husband. Don't know how you feel about rimming. It's really awesome -at least for me it is.

Bast & Taz, thanks for sharing so much info.That's why I come here, nice and friendly without the nonsense!

Yes this is very new to both of us, we had talked in passing about this a couple months ago and he actually said 'don't go there' even though I had ventured there a couple of times and he never stoped me and seemed to be ok with it.
This past weekend, after the Hot letter I sent to him, we were just so into each other that it just happened- me doing him and he so got into it, surprised us both, surprised me that it was such a turn on for me too.
Talked a bit the next day about how he felt about it all and looked at some new toys and he even mentioned a 'strap-on' wow I guess he really did enjoy it.
Got him spread eagle on the bed last night and gave him a good shave, he shaves all the rest so why not his ass too, smooth as a babys butt now.
AS far as the rimming, well I did'nt know there was a name for it- we have both had somewhat accidental experience with this during oral, but never stayed for long-testing the waters maybe?? I can see we are heading that direction, gave him a little after the shave and he was surley enjoying that also.
So far it has been all about his pleasure for this but my turn soon....
Honey

Honey

Rimming... the best kind.

Honeydew, I'm so excited that you and your hubby of 30 years have honored us with all your new exploits and upcoming adventures. It just makes me all fuzzy inside, Honest! Anal is a whole different world in sex, and it is wonderful. Funny, how our society has created such a taboo about its' place in sexuality.

I think that it was around 12 years ago that I first tried anal. Freddy was the first guy that really paid any attention to oral sex in foreplay - that the whole sensation around my clit, vaginal and anus area was truly awakened. I just loved receiving oral sex from him, that my anus must of gotten jealous and wanted a tester.

Communication is the number one priority (like you haven't heard that from me before ). Lots of lube, and taking it slow is the only technique we knew. I don't do it often, but when I do, it is out of this world I have hang ups about those unsightly hemorrhoids (wonderful presents after giving birth) So, I shy away from anal as a norm. But, amazingly enough Freddy has shown more interest in it due to all the interest that you folks have shown us. He seems to like when I put pressure on his anus while giving him a blow job. It really puts him over the top! Who knows there might be a review of "Bend over Boyfriend" in the future Nah! I think one of the F&E friends will have to share their experience before we do!

Thanks Eddy for your pointers!Oh I can relate to those nasty after birth things, my last son was almost 10lbs- natural non medicated birth. Needless to say I sat very carefully for a while!
Now if I could just find a way to get rid of those damn stripes on my belly! Oh well no one is perfect, except in the movies.. just dim the lights a bit and everyone is happy-He is not perfect either so it's all good.

We are also finding just how much fun we can have exploring new things...I so appreciate all the good advice I get here.
Honey

Hello Honeydew and how wonderful it is for you and hubby to have awakened yourselves to new found pleasures! And I will echo the others in thanking you for having the courage and generosity to not only share it with us here but to ask for advice!!!



I'll focus my comments more on the "technical" side.



First, anal sex for men and anal sex for women has similarities but is also vastly different. Since I'm not a woman and since I've been married to one long enough to know better, I won't even try to relate to what females experience. As we are all different (mentally, physically, emotionally) each person's experience will of course be different. Some women find they can orgasm from anal sex. Theories range from stimulation against the vaginal (and possibly the internal g-spot) nerves to pure mental bliss. Not to discount the very real pleasure that can be derived from the stimulation of the incredible amount of nerves in and around the anus/rectum itself! What is commonly reported by women who enjoy anal sex is two things: 1) An intense and pleasurable sense of "fullness" and 2) The whole "taboo" aspect of the experience. Again, I'm not even going to try and stumble my way through this and inevitably make an ass out of myself and blatantly highlight the fact that I have a penis and therefore could never understand!



Now, something I CAN talk to and have much more direct experience with, is anal sex for the man. First and foremost is the mental aspect. It's no secret that every man has had it drilled into him that his ass is not to bring any kind of sexual gratification lest he be less a man. Boy is that a bunch of bullshit! Receiving pleasure from anal stimulation, up to and including strap-on sex, can be intensely phyiscally pleasurable without even considering the mental aspects!



The anus and rectum are a huge bundle of very sensitive nerves. Now, considering that the underside of the head of the cock, the clitoris, nipples, hell the backs of knees are massive groupings of nerves and thus the deriving of pleasure, why wouldn't it make sense to stimulate them?



Well because men don't do that! Yeah right. So that brings me to the first point I seem to have strayed from, the mental side of male anal sex. It does NOT mean a man is gay if he enjoys anal sex (I mean lets give gay guys some credit and admit that they wouldn't have anal sex if it was a horrible experience...it feels good) But this "taboo" mind-set can be and often is a very powerful drive in the enjoyment we men derive from the acts. Especially when toys are introduced.



From my personal experience and of those men I have discussed this with that can really break this all down, a toy designed for a woman, really doesn't provide that much actual "incredible" physical stimulation. Meaning, if I put a woman's vibrator in my ass, yes it vibrates and such but if I am really honest with myself, it doesn't feel all that different than say a couple fingers. In fact it may well feel not as good, but more on that in a second. What it does do is provide a powerful sense of naughtiness and an almost wicked sense of pleasure. Sure there are some toys that will provide more physical sensation than others and there are men that will receive more physical pleasure from toys than others, but I believe a very large portion of the toy equation is mental.



I think that for men (and women too but more so males) anal sex is very, very mental. I'm in no way discounting the physical, just really trying to stress the mental. When your husband "allows" you to engage in this type of activity with him, whether he realizes it or not, I would venture that in his mind he is completely offering himself to you. A deep, albeit decadent, act of complete trust. A sort of baring of the soul if you will. A strap-on takes this offering to an entirely new level that for those so inclined can be an amazingly mind-blowing experience for both partners!



Now a little more on the physical side...There's the rimming that you've been learning about. Analingus (licking your partner's ass) is a very pleasurable sensation for both males and females. All those nerves being stroked by a warm wet tongue, who wouldn't find it hot? Just rubbing and pushing a finger against the anus can be very exciting and lend a ton to the sexual experience and ultimately the orgasm (for either of you by the way). But the man has what is often referred to as the "male g-spot", the prostate gland. Now, I personally think that may be a bit over-zealous as I know my body does not go into the throws that my wife's does when I stimulate her actual g-spot, but that is not to say that it isn't an incredible sensation.



To find the prostate, have hubby lie on his back. Slide a finger (or two) inside of him so that the pads of your fingers face upward (toward his cock). Just as the pads slip past the anal ring, that tight circle of nerves and muscle your eyes see and you can obviously feel as you pass it, curl your finger/s gently upward as if you were pulling them back toward you. Slide them along his anal wall as if you you were gliding them toward his cock, slipping them further and deeper inside of him. At some point you feel a "lump" or a "bump" that some describe as an acorn. I don't like to use that term as we are all different and the prostate in each of us will be of various shape and size. But it is pronounced enough that with a little exploration you should be able to locate it and feel the differences in the body terrain. He too should be helping you with verbal cues, he'll have a good idea when you hit it. He may not notice right away but if you start to apply some pressure and massage the prostate, he'll know if you've found it.



Massaging the prostate can be extemely pleasurable but I don't find the sensations to be the intense kind that say licking the under-side of the cock is. It is a deep, stomach tugging type of sensation. Now there are those that can have their cum milked from them purely by prostate stimulation alone without an orgasm occuring. In fact some medical professionals are purported to use the techinique for certain things. I'm not entirely sure about all that but I can tell you that when relaxed enough and with proper stimulation I can leak like crazy. But moreover, what I find most pleasureable with prostate stimulation, is slow strong pulls and rubs across it.



Don't fret the softening of the penis, that's normal as it is both (I belive) a combination of the mental and physical experience. It in no way means he is not enjoying it!



You might also try stimulating the perenium, or more commonly called the taint (taint your ass, taint your nuts). If you feel down from his balls toward his ass you find that it feels as if his cock runs under his skin and dissappears. A thick ridge. Well, it does. Those cock nerves run all the way under there. Try massaging and pushing a finger just slightly back from his balls as you orally or manullay bring him to orgasm. The nerve stimulation and gentle ejaculation restriction can be very intense. Then put a vibe in that spot and watch what happens.



Okay I have rambled on and on. There's the obvious do's and don't's of anal sex for you both: LOTS of lube, LOTS of relaxation, LOTS of patience, LOTS of communication (both ways), and LOTS of love.



Hope I made some sense in there somewhere.



Of course, strap-on's are whole 'nuther conversation!

Limbhugger,
Wow what a fantastic reply! This is not the kind of info you can find in a book, personal experience is so much better!
Once his 'cherry' was popped he has not been shy about letting me know how much he likes this play.
Fingers do work best here, we played with the vibe a bit but he did not get much from it, hard plastic I think that is the problem, bought a 'cosmic invader' and it is soft so will be trying it soon, that is after I break it in first.

It my observation that the reaction to this stimulation is very much like mine with g-spot, I love that I can give him this kind of pleasure.

I am sure it will not be long before we try strap on play, I love to be in control! WE are looking at http://www.feeldoe.com/ I am just not sure about the no harness deal though, we will see. So anyone with experience with this product please share..

Thanks to you all for being so supportive and giving with advice and tec tips.
Honey
Honey

I've heard mixed reviews on the feeldoe. Some folks love it, others aren't so thrilled about it. I have no personal experience with it.

I would agree that rigid toys are not necessarily the best for this type of play. The "realistic" dildos and toys designed specifically for this type of play are best. When buying toys, buy quality! It is far better to invest a little extra money and be happy than buy a cheap toy and be dissatisified. Worse yet, a poor quality toy may mislead you into thinking you don't enjoy something when the truth is, you just haven't had the right hardware. I'm a big fan of blowfish.com. They test and review all of their products and we've always had great service with them.

Keep us posted!