Hello! My boyfriend and I are seeking suggestions on a more comfortable strap on for his pleasure. Specifically we are looking for something that is flexible and has some "give", yet with internal rigidity. (We have some slight trouble with initial penetration and stroking. Our current strap on "bends" a little too much.) Any suggestions (specific strap on name) are very much appreciated! Thank you!

The one we get the most positive feedback about is the Flame Harness Kit combined with a number of dildos from Tantus Silicone . They make an amazingly comprehensive product line which goes from soft to rock hard.

Thanks Freddy. We'll check it out. We don't want something too hard, but the one we're using now is WAY too soft. I thought we'd do a little research before investing any more $$!

I'm guessing by your post that you're actually looking for toys for your current strap-on and not the actual harness.

The ones Freddy suggested are excellent toys. Give blowfish.com a look. They test and review their products in house and we've always had great luck with them. Remember to always buy quality toys, even if that means saving up a little longer. Poor quality toys are not worth the money or frustation.

Thanks Limbhugger, we'll definitely check it out. And yes, what we are using now is not "top of the line", and I think that makes a difference. (We didn't want to invest an arm and a leg before we determined if this was an area we wanted to go... no pun intended.) Again, thank you!

Though not inexpensive, the Vixen Creations "Nexus" can be an excellent toy a woman can wear while she uses it to penetrate her partner. No harness required.

As with many things, whether it's right for you is largely a matter of personal preference. Perhaps F&E should maintain a "lending library" of medical grade, sterilizable toys!

-T.C.

Oh man, I can just imagine the ramifications of THAT!!!

Silicone is indeed sterilizable (dishwasher safe, boilable, bleachable) but sharing between strangers (as in, having F&E start a loaner program) just isn't probable. There are glass companies (I think Phallix is one of them) that will take toys back... because they can sterilize them at temperatures well above what we can do at home.

For harnesses: I've tried both the Vac-U-Lock system from Doc Johnson, and Tantus's Bend Over Beginner harness (also in the Flame Kit). I'll out myself first and say that I work for Tantus by day, and have my own adult site by night... but even if I didn't, I prefer the B.O.B. harness, hands down.

It comes down to design... no matter who's you buy, you're going to want something that is completely adjustable, and the B.O.B. harness (made by Sportsheets) uses backpacking straps and clips so that you can adjust them with one hand. Harnesses that use D-rings (like my Vac U Lock one) take two hands to adjust, and just dont seem to stay put.

Also, a harness that uses O-rings instead of the Vac-U-Loc system opens you up to more possibilities when you want to switch out your toys... you can pick any toy with a wide base (both Tantus and Vixen feature those, along with many other companies) and it will work, rather than being limited to those that are part of the Vac-U-Loc System.

Last but no least, the B.O.B. harness is completely washable... just drop it in the washing machine and you're good to go.

Now... toys... to use on a boy that's not used to anal play, I'd suggest something with a narrow tip like Tantus's Spike (forgive me for being Tantus-centric, but they are the most common toys in my toychest these days both because they are available to me and because I love silicone toys). It's firm enough to insert, but narrow enough at the tip to go in gently.

Silicone is good for such play not only because it's sterilizable but because it's firm enough to use without bending and soft enough to conform to the body's shape.

For more advanced players... I like the Large Ripple. It's got big bumps so that you definitely feel it going in and out... makes for quite the mind-blowing orgasm (especially when coupled with clitoral stimulation). Boys enjoy it as well, but it is for more advanced players that can relax to accommodate the large variation in size from bulb to bulb.

WHEW caught me in a mood to type... sorry for the length. I hope this helps!

((HUGS))

Jenn

I completely agree. Silicone sex toys are the best. You do have to be aware of your lube choices, however. Silicone lube doesn't mix with silicone toys. The lube will stick to the toy, and leave a fine coat that can't be cleaned. At least, I haven't found a way to clean mine properly.

There are plenty of other kinds of lube, though, so that shouldn't be an obstacle.