As one who is... finally... on the road to recovery from ED and sexual dysfunction, I can tell you that intercourse is definitely possible with a semi-erect penis, as is ejaculation. It takes longer, and a lot more effort- both physical and mental. And Nigel is right in what he said: it becomes like a crisis of faith in one's self and a real question of confidence. In the process, you lose both, and it makes it that much worse.

Bumping and grinding - with me on top- worked best for me, and I did find that if I finally got in that right state of mind and hit that right groove, I could get harder and achieve orgasm, even if I was still just semi-erect. If I warmed my wife up first and made sure she was really wet, it made it a lot easier.

One thing I always found comfort in, though, was knowing that I could still please my wife with my fingers and tongue, (which I gladly did then and still do- despite being on the road to recovery. BTW- When is cunnilingus going to be an Olympic sport? I'm so going for the gold when it does!)

Oh, and the "Oh, It's okay..." speech is one way to really wound a fella's ego. You might as well just go on and cut his limp dick off and shove it down his throat, because the emotional emasculation is about the same.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Martini Man,

I am curious, knowing that an "oh, it's okay" kind of speech is NOT the way someone would want to go in order to encourage semi-erect sex.

What kind of speech or encouraging words would you men suggest in such a situation? Something like, "Baby, you turn me on so much, let's fool around" or would that still make a guy feel inadequate?

It's such a fine line to be walking, and I'm finding myself becoming fascinated (through watching this topic evolve and mature) with what could be considered the "right thing" to say.

~Ang

I know theres really not a right thing to say.

I have found the only thing that really helps is for her to be interested in the act, and getting my confidence back. Otherwise we have bad sex and no ones happy

I have had this problem in the past. Some times while drinking some times while not (happens to us 20 year olds as well )

The wrong thing to do it poke fun.

And as for his confidence's some times theres nothing you can say or do to help. would depend on the time but he would be the best to ask since no one works the same

Now this is fascinating. I'm going to start another thread called How to encourage your partner in bed through words and deeds. So off I go to do that!

quote:

Originally posted by CelticFrog:
I am curious, knowing that an "oh, it's okay" kind of speech is NOT the way someone would want to go in order to encourage semi-erect sex.

What kind of speech or encouraging words would you men suggest in such a situation? Something like, "Baby, you turn me on so much, let's fool around" or would that still make a guy feel inadequate?

It's such a fine line to be walking, and I'm finding myself becoming fascinated (through watching this topic evolve and mature) with what could be considered the "right thing" to say.

~Ang

the 'oh, its okay' is bad, whats worst is 'oh, its okay, maybe we should just quit'

I know we are over a year late with the posting but our concerns are with yours. My husband has medical issues and can't sustain a fully erect penis. We try hard with penetration but I am too tight. I too miss the full erectness. I still please my husband in other ways but am missing the full pleasure myself. HELP

quote:

Originally posted by Anouk:

quote:

Uh... no it's not. Unless crushed penis is a turn on for you.

Uh...well, no, it's not, as you so delicately suggest.

As others here have confirmed, it is possible to have intercourse with a semi-erection, and not an evil doing by a malicious woman hell-bent on snapping her man's bone, as you semi-imply.

I'm just wondering if people have suggestions on how best to gain pleasure through this sort of gentler intercourse, which is the only type possible with my husband at this time due to health problems.

I miss the feeling of being filled up by a stiff member, plus my man feels some embarrassment over it. Perhaps, these thoughts must be suspended before we can relax and enjoy intimate time together as a couple.

Because of medication I have erection problems. Though trial and error my wife and I have found a position that works very well. We lay in a V or L with me on the left, her left leg over my left hip and her right leg in between my legs. This gets me up close and personal with her. Using one of the lubs I keep in my night stand, I like the bubble gum flavor, I can easly enter her and start with slow and gentle strokes and I can really get into it and that get me harder and longer. Sometimes I lose my erection then we just stop, relax, rub and play and I almost always reaquire my erection and being that in tight I never fall out even at full soft. The only thing I miss with this position is the kissing and mouthing each other during intercourse. We just have to do it afterwards and that sometimes leads to her getting a nice reward for her fine work.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: lipher,

Buckshot and Virgil sound familiar.

Tantric soft penetration in lipher's position. The book I learned it from called it scissors, but I find that too close to scalpel or kitchen knife and would like a new word. Word-people, go to work.

Actually, I get really turned on by my husband's hardness/softness changing.

We struggled with psycho-neuro-somatic e.d. You know, too much self-monitoring.

We spiraled down. Then got the e.d. drugs and in one day got our confidence back.

Exhaustion, stress, worry, alcohol, and weight gain predispose. When it happens we masturbate together.

At the beginning I somehow knew the "it's all right" wasn't all right. So I just said, "Come here and lie beside me and talk for a few minutes." I ignored the penis with the mind of its own. That kept the relationship possible to grow and blossom.

Slowly the sex has gotten better and better and great. I still have to kick some MrR ass to keep him from exhausting himself and stressing.

I have to ask, and this is a huge generalization: Do men tend to get sexually lazy--don't go down, get it fast in the morning, stop giving foreplay, skip the affection--unless they have a woman to remind them that they are sex goddesses that need proper care? Maybe this needs it's own thread. Yikes.