Hi again guys! Looking for help again, since searching isn't doing me any good right now.

VERY shortly, as in tomorrow morning, I'm giving a presentation in my marketing class. I'm looking for quotes about relationships but can't find any that are what I'm really looking for. If you have a funny saying of your own, or if you know of a funny (or even scary but true) quote that I might be able to use, please let me know.

Here's basically what I'm looking for:
1. Either funny or head-noddingly true.
2. Short and sweet
3. Dealing primarily with forgetting of important dates
4. Or dealing with forgetting to buy a card or gifts

Thanks, all. I know it's short notice but we've changed direction a little bit with this presentation and it's my final for this class so I'm scrambling to adapt!

~Ang

Why are single women thinner than married ones?

Single woman comes home, looks what´s in the fridge, shakes her head and goes to bed.
Married woman comes home, looks what´s in the bed, shakes her head and goes to the fridge.

Ok ok, it´s mean, and it may very well be true also for men, but it is one of Tyrion´s favourites and mine, lol.

When I am a pest Tyrion often goes silent for a moment, then looks up and in a very calm way asks "Did I say YES? Did I really SAY yes? And there were witnesses? Damn".

Wedding Day

A man marries a radiantly beautiful angel fallen to earth.

A woman marries 200 pounds of playdoh in a tux.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)

Women marry on the mistaken assumption that after marriage, the man will change. Men marry on the mistaken assumption that after marriage, the woman will not.

The difference between "involvement" and "commitment" is like ham and eggs. The hen is involved. The pig is commmitted.

There are three rings of marriage:

The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The suffe ring

Although I only have the first two and hope to keep it that way!

Everyone is insane. You just have to pick the insanity you can live with.

And, she misquotes me - sigh

The correct quote(for guys mostly) is: Every woman is insane, you just have to pick the insanity you can live with.

My personal insanity that I picked was insanely cute and witty.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
~Mae West

. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear underpants don't you?

my wife is with me where ever i go.....she's too ugly to kiss goodbye.

"If it doesn't work the first time you do it, try doing it the way you wife told you to"

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.