There's a line from a old, really old, Blood, Sweat, and Tears song that I paraphrase, "I swear there's no heaven and I pray there's no hell"

I hope my doubts don't influence or offend others...

Heaven - free flowing Cab and Merlot; Really good oral sex for all; Everyone accepts others beliefs; Cable TV for all; I never have to cook;
My breasts become 38 DD's and I don't kill Michael with them.

Hell- Outlet malls; Fox News 24/7;Wal-Mart Live Better PR, Temps below 45 degrees: Me cooking anything; Jeb Bush running for President; American Idol doesn't go away.

I may have others

Your Heaven and Hell?

As long as there are German Shepherds there, abd good food, good wine and lots of sex, the rest is immaterial.

quote:

Originally posted by NorthernJack:
As long as there are German Shepherds there, abd good food, good wine and lots of sex, the rest is immaterial.

UM -- NorthernJack? -- Are you expecting Heaven to Bacchanalian fest with dogs?

Or did I take that statement the wrong way?

MJ

MJ, that's essentially correct. I have no idea if there's a hereafter or not, but my ideal of such a state is as I posted. Whoopee!

NJ

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull


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Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

Heaven is a workshop with a table that can extend indefinitely and always, always offer some clear space for working. Could well apply the same concept to kitchens.

Schlenkerla Rauchbier should be available in all supermarkets, too.



These seem to be very central considerations at the moment, heaven wise.

I'd rather not think of hell right now.

Heaven -- Where I am never bored, every morning is a lazy Saturday morning where I and my wife can "snuggle" under the nice warm covers for hours on end, and people do what I ask them to do when I ask them.

Hell -- Sitting in a hard wooden chair, alone with nothing to do.

MJ