It'd been nearly 13 years since I had read these books. Jade had them when she and I first got together. They were the dirtiest thing I ever read (and probably still are), and I tore through all three of them in a week. Some scenes were like a fucking train wreck- you just couldn't turn away!

Well, we loaned them to someone, and they disappeared. So, I bought them for my darling wife again last Valentine's Day.

Well, lo and behold there I was with nothing new to read when I noticed them on the bookshelf amongst our massive collection of Star Wars books. (Yes, we're geeks- but we make geek look good.) So, I picked them up and started reading them again in all their pornographic glory. However, with 13 years of life under my belt, the subject matter isn't as shocking and new as it was back then. And, while well-written, I have noticed a few things on my second go-round:

• Anne Rice writes hotter Guy/Guy scenes than she does Girl/Guy and Girl/Girl. You can tell what kind of porn she likes. (And for those who read "Cry to Heaven", you know she's really, really into it.)
  
  
• If people got whipped, spanked, and paddled as much in real life as they did in these three books, they wouldn't have any flesh on their backsides. Can you say cellulitis? I knew that you could!
  
  
• The guys in the book are supposed to keep their penises erect at all times. We call it a priapism, and it's not normal. Not even Peter North or Ron Jeremy can do that.
  
  
• You can only find so many words for sexual organs before you start to repeat yourself.
  
  
• No one in her fantasy world suffers from erectile dysfunction, is out of shape, gets pregnant, or ever gets her period. Everyone is ready to fuck 24/7/365 no matter how old or young. And they're all bisexual. And they're all stunningly gorgeous- female and male. Hmmm... no wonder they're all bisexual.
  
  
• No man in her world is afraid to drop the soap in the shower. In fact, any man in her world who doesn't have a phallus of some shape or form shoved up his bum at all times is in the vast minority. And no man in her books ever complains about having something rammed up his butt. They all pitch and catch. Oh, which brings us to the fact that no one there has hemorrhoids either.
  
  
• Horsie play... This I'll never get as long as I live. And God bless any of you who are into it, but I just don't get it.
  
  
• Anne Rice is a twisted little lady, and I love her to death for it! (However, I wonder just what kind of bedtime stories she read to her kid. "Mom, Goldilocks never went down on the Mama Bear while getting DP'd by Papa and Baby Bear! Tell the story right!")
  
  

Has anyone else read them?

I first read these in my teens, and I'm missing one of the series now to my despair.

It is a strange set of books, and having more experience in my alley many of your points are well served. Still, I think many of her scenes influenced later fantasies of mine... oh, yeah.

~Ang

Celtic Frog: They're still on the bookshelves. They finally released them with Anne Rice's name on the cover (as A.N. Roquelaire). She does have some hot scenes in there, that's for sure.

Here's what got me: Jade was a religious goody-two-shoes when we met. I couldn't believe she owned those books when we met. Wait a sec... No wonder it was easy for a perv like me to corrupt her!

Eh, I want all the covers to match!!! Waaaaa! Not like I'll have any time to read any of them for years to come... *sigh* I shouldn't even be here right now!!!

For the record, we're geeks too. Maybe there IS a correlation between being a geek and being good in the sack...

~Ang

quote:

Still, I think many of her scenes influenced later fantasies of mine... oh, yeah.

Most definitely, Ang!


I was young and inexperienced when I first read those and was completely engrossed, but now, after a decade of marriage and a couple of kids, I found myself getting irritated with the main character. I’m all about some BDSM, but Beauty is not a consenting submissive. She’s just a whiny little spineless thing and – just once – I wanted her to stand up for herself and tell Prince What’s-his-name to back up and get the hell out of her face for a few minutes, LOL.

Good point, baby! I thought the same thing on the second reading. I guess that's why I liked Laurent. At least he would only take so much of the slave role before he wanted to play master.

And I hated the Prince. He was just an asshole. I did wonder if the Queen's little boy was ever subjected to the same things that all of the other princes and princesses were put through. I'm under the impression that he didn't.

To quote the old lady from "Little Britain" when referring to Daffyd ("The Only Gay The Village"): "What that boy needs is a nice cock up his ass."

I do like the scene, though, at the end when the prince comes to court Beauty and she puts him through a few little trials before turning him down. She finally realizes the power she does possess, and also realizes she wants to be the submissive instead of the master.

I have these books. They are quite entertaining, but agree that the boy/girl scenes are not up to the standard of the boy/boy ones.

I thought the second book was the best of the series. The carnival/festival (I can't recall what they called it) "scenes" were the best.

Would be interesting to turn the book into a movie, or similar, or even a graphic novel. I'm sure Ms. Rice, however, probably would not go for either.

I thought about that, too! They should make them into the biggest-ever budget porn movies!

I think the problem would be one of marketing, due to having boy/boy scenes, the average heterosexual male porn consumer is not going to buy a movie where half the scenes are homoerotic in nature, no matter how kinky the hetero sex is. Add to that a good dose of S&M, and I think the market of potential buyers (vis a vis the larger porn market) is rather small.

I would buy it, you would buy it, but I don't think we (i.e., most of the posters on this site) represent the "average" porn movie buyer.

Sad, but true. Then again, maybe if we could convince Mr. Comstock to let us borrow his cameras, and get some F&E members to "volunteer" as actors/actressess....

Comstock's not the only film-maker around here!

You'd have to have one hell of a budget to do this story justice, and some very brave- not to mention HOT- actors and actresses.

And either CGI or a lot of Viagra.

Hmm, I think I see a trip to amazon.com in my future...

Whoa! Maybe not...the set is going "new or used" for $295!!

I think I'll find someone's to borrow instead!

That price can't be right, Phoenix. I paid around $12 or $14 each at our local Barnes and Noble for the paperbacks.

EDIT: I just checked out B&N online, and it's $42 for all three books combined into one book.

Thanks, MM. Maybe they're out of print or something weird on amazon. B&N might be worth a look though! Thanks for the info

I just checked it out, and there they are! They are all in "reprint" or "reissue" status, so they must have been out of print for a period of time, which would explain the astronomical amazon.com prices...thanks!

One more suggestion, Phoenix -

booksamillion.com has them for cheaper than B&N, and you can also go to half.com for new/slightly used copies that are usually pretty inexpensive.