With all the keeping fit and health issues, I thought this might be interesting. We cannot always control our health, disease and a wide range of other health issues. How does this affect our or our partners� ability to have or desire sex?

Great post Mayor! Life is definately not fair to us, especially as we get on in age. Changes within our health and fitness definately affects our relationship with our partner or partners. But with communication and the open mind to look for ways to be creative can overcome the lack of desire for not wanting sex. I look forward to seeing what our peers will share regarding their experience on this matter.

Seems not a topic as interesting as i first thought.

Mayor I think it's a wonderful topic yet one that not everyone has experienced yet. I blew out my knee years ago. I would love to say on a Black Diamond run at Tahoe, but sometimes shag carpet can be dangerous as well . Anyway figuring out positions for sex while wearing an immobilizer was a challenge but not what you are referring to I don't think. It something most all of us will face at some point in time and if anyone out there can share their information with us I am sure they will.

Hey there Mayor. I've noticed that even small health issues can effect your libido. We're in the depths of Winter here and my sweetie and I both had the worst head colds that seemed to go on for a long time. Can be kind of hard to be romatic of sexy when you can't breathe! Thank goodness that's over. Having said that, coughing can give interesting sensations lower down while you're doing...

On a more positive health note, both my partner and I made a committment a couple of years ago to get and stay healthy and fit through more regular exercise. We both think that it's made a huge positive impact on our love life. More energy, more stamina...more fun!

Patience and understanding works for us. We've both had times where something has happened health-wise where physical intimacy has been pushed to the side. I had a tetanus shot two weeks ago and had a bad reaction to it. I could barely move, let alone want to be intimate. My husband had a bad back a few years ago, and during the worst of it that dropped sex down to nill.

I think it's just a matter of priorities. Sex is a priority in our marriage, it's just not the most important one.

I'm in my mid 30's have had several heart surgeries and a hysterectomy in the last 2 1/2 years. It has taken a toll on our sex life. I think hubs is scared to "do me" cuz he might hurt me. It's frustrating. Ive told him I'm not a frail china doll. I miss sex. We are both working on getting healthier and more active. I know doing that will improve our sex lives. Hubs has a very very low sex drive these days...

I found myself going through surgery for cancer several years ago and now am trying to overcome some of the side-effects of it. It has affected my libido and my sex life in general. If pretty much sucks, but am fortunate to have found a girl that I am so in love with and bonded to that it doesn't even matter. It's just yet another speed bump of life and we move past it. I love her. End of story...

I have Crohn's disease which is well controlled through medication. However, in the not-so-distant past, when Phoenix's digestive tract wasn't happy, ain't nobody happy B had to understand that if my stomach was upset, NOTHING was going to happen. Hey, if I felt I had to be within jumping distance of a bathroom, it kind of sucks the romanticism right out of an evening. Thankfully, the past few years have been my best in a long time, especially health-wise, and these incidents are few and far between Most of the time it takes understanding and education on one's partner's side to make a satisfying time when one of you has health issues.

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I felt I had to be within jumping distance of a bathroom

i'm so sorry for your Chrohn's, phoenix.

truth is, unless one goes thru something themselves or is close to someone going thru 'stuff', they can't really relate and it isn't really their fault...they simply 'just don't know'

a close relative has chronic chrohn's, along w/pain med addiction...and young in age. it's been hard to see them go from vibrant teenager then surgeries, suffering for 15+ years.

for me, i had to go thru neuro-issues, numbness (still, off & on). but i look extremely healthy from the outside (e.g., do autistic people look autistic on the outside?)

yep, communication, understanding & UNselfishness is a must in the patient as well as the non-ill partner. the ill partner may not be able to engage in intercourse, but aside from pain, i feel it's only fair that they be willing to try and accomodate the healthy partner's healthy need for sex as much as possible, an assistant, if you will

Mayor: this is INDEED a great topic. thank you for posting it!

I never saw this thread before.

I wanted to comment on what Rain said

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coughing can give interesting sensations lower down while you're doing...

If she cough's and Im inside....Im all of a sudden squeezed out.....Fits of laughter insue.

That aside, some of you know that my lovely wife is in the process of a breast cancer fight. It all started Sept. 5th. she's only 42.

We have not had any intamacy since shortly before that dreaded date. I dont expect either of us to get back on track 'til the process is over and she is given the all clear.

Our mental anguish over the diagnosis, followed by surgery, followed by chemotherapy (still ongoing, she has no hair) has left us with a complete and utter lack of desire. I dont blame her, and I dont blame me. It's the way it is right now. How does one reach orgasm with the mind filled with worry? - It's practically impossible.

We will return to our sex life once our minds are focused away from the disease, and she is cured...hopefully forever.

But it's not easy, and we each understand where we are right now.

ULT

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unless one goes thru something themselves or is close to someone going thru 'stuff', they can't really relate and it isn't really their ...they simply 'just don't know'

That is such a true statement.

We're having our 51st b-days soon.

Neither of us is in top shape. MrR gets a floppy and says he's tired. Of course he is, he stands up 14 hours a day.

When we dated we had some trouble with performance anxiety. Then it seemed to morph into a problem. Then we got meds. Then we didn't need them anymore.

Now we're just getting a little older. And hell, I can't hold myself up, on top, for more than a few minutes, like 4, before I poop out. I have to sort of squat. My legs are short.

Neither MrR nor I are experienced lovers. Neither of us developed much erogenous touch besides stimulation to penis, clit-vagina.

Question: I'd like to get some sensitivity back into our bodies. Same time, I wonder what positions are good for strong penis stimulation and him-control, where he doesn't have to hold himself up so long. He's not quick.

Doggie is good. But I wonder if there isn't a side-position that would be good?

Any of the Liberator love furniture help?

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But I wonder if there isn't a side-position that would be good?

i have her lie on her back. i am to her right laying on my side.

1.) i put my left leg under her legs

2.) bring her right knee to her chest

3.) roll into her pussy with my right leg draped over her left.

make any sense??....write it down and try it. my right hand is free for clitoral stimulation while she usually tweaks her nipples.

she gets off several times in this position.

C'mon, write the book already, Ajay!

i'm serious! PLEASE?!

All I gotta say is invest in some Liberator shapes. They are fantastic for what you are discribing as well as more "acrobatic" rounds.

Trust me and SL on this...it works