Has anyone else here suffered from a low sex drive at a young age? I've had this problem since the end of high school when I was on anti-depressants. I stayed on them for around 2 months back then (3 years ago) and have not had any other drugs in my system ever. For my first two years of sexual activity, I wasn't able to ejaculate during intercourse (masturbation worked fine). I'm 21 now and every so often I just can't get it up and I have absolutely no desire to have sex. Even when I can get it up, it takes a lot of effort to keep it up. I get more pleasure after we finish having sex than while its happening because I don't have to exert myself to keep my erection; I'm more or less just relieved its over even though I orgasm and ejaculate. I can't just kick back and enjoy the sex because I can't stay erect unless I put all my mental energy into staying hard. It hurts my gf's feelings when I can't perform and makes me feel inadequate because her drive is a lot higher than mine. This really freaks me out because I've always heard that a man's drive is highest at this point in his life, but my sex drive seems/feels relatively low. How bad is the rest of my sexual lifespan going to get. I don't want to be on viagra at 25. I went to the urologist about my ejaculation problem and he said there wasn't much they could do (charged me like 500 bucks for that). I am reluctant to go back because I can't afford to waste money on non-existent advice. What is wrong with me?

Maybe low testosterone?

When I went to the doctor last year, they took blood and said it wasn't that, but I do seem to be experiencing the effects of that. Bodybuilding is a hobby of mine, so perhaps that obfuscates one of the obvious traits (lack of muscle mass). Gaining muscle for me is like moving heaven and earth though, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was a problem. I'll try going back to the doctor though.

Hi Burner! To me, the low testosterone seems like a likely cause, but you never know. I seem to remember that you're a college student, so check to see if you can get to see a doctor on campus at a reduced rate or something. They may be able to help you. A doctor will be able to do some tests and other examinations that will help to narrow down the possibilities. Also, have your prostate and testicles checked, you never know if there is a problem with them that is adding to your erection worries.

On the flip side, some of it may be mental. You did say that everything seems to be in working order when you masturbate, but a bit less so when you have sex. So, it seems your plumbing is working fine, just not exactly at the time you'd like it to. As for your sex drive, if you're worried about your preformance, of course you won't want to have sex! That could certainly suck the fun right out of it. If you're getting more pleasure (and relief) from sex when it's over, you may need to relax more. Don't concentrate on getting or maintaining an erection, try to think about pleasuring your partner and how good it feels for you.

One more thing: I remember you saying in other threads that you're in a relationship. If that's still the case, are you still attracted to her and feel affectionate toward her and have an emotional connection? If not, it can effect how "into" having sex you are. If you're not in a relationship and having sex with multiple partners, guys also like to have an emotional connection with their partners, so some guys have preformance issues when it comes to one night stands, etc.

Also, if the possibility of pregnancy is a worrisome topic, it can also affect your ability to get an erection if you're worried about that. Don't forget to practice safe sex, and that will alleviate some of the worry. Check out your campus health center for free condoms, etc. I hope this helps. Relax, and have fun!

it can get into your head, and sometimes it takes a while to shake it off. just be patient and keep trying. if you have a good sex partner, she'll be more than happy to work through the problem.

i had trouble while taking antidepressants. you might also check out any diet supplements you may be taking for bodybuilding. you may want to stop them for a few weeks and see if that makes a difference. some of them contain herbs or additives that can cause problems hormonally.

Burner, as others have said already, whatever cause initiated the problem the anxiety building up on it can only make it worse. See if phisical causes can actually play a role, and in any case try to relax a bit. Make sure to find a SUPPORTIVE partner to go through this together with humor and affection.

Your sex drive is not at its peak now, only your perm count. Things can and will get better, I am sure of it.

Oh, and finally,(this thought actually comes from my hubby) the way you look any woman in the same room with you will look like she has a higher sex drive than you. How could a poor girl keep her hands off, lol.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Snowflake,

quote:

I'm more or less just relieved its over even though I orgasm and ejaculate. I can't just kick back and enjoy the sex because I can't stay

Try supplementing your diet with Tribulus, which is used by bodybuilders to counteract the effects of too much steroid use on the sex drive. Tribulus boosts testosterone levels, actually. It's all-natural and pretty inexpensive (you can find it in any health food store).

Thanks for the helpful responses. My gf and I have been together for 14 months and are very much in love. I've always just felt sort of at a loss when it came to a trustable erection. She has never complained about it though (save for the handful of times when I actually lost my erection).

The pregnancy isn't really a concern (my gf has a condition that doesn't allow her to ovulate). I a, going to try this tribulus thing and drop Nitric Oxide from my supplement regimen. In genera though, I find that my performance isn't much of a problem, it's just getting my body to cooperate to the extent that I don't have to concentrate on it. It could all just be stress related. I have finals coming up.

Please be very careful when screwing with your testosterone. Exhaust every other option first. Before screwing with your testosterone, head to an endocrinologist and get all of your levels checked if you want.

I'm on testosterone and would be happy to give you any details if it'll help at all.

Honey, people are giving you good advice, and I have a little more for you. But first, all men go through this periodically. Chances are nothing is seriously wrong with you. Here are things to consider:
1. Certain anti-depressants can inhibit sex drive but usually they inhibit orgasm. Most anti-depressants take 4 to 6 weeks to begin working, and usually you need a course of 6 months to correct a fairly mild case of depression. You said you only took them for a couple of months. Could you still be depressed? Many people with depression find their sex life really improving with anti-depressants, especially some of the newer ones like Lexapro.
2. Many times depression and anxiety go hand in hand. You have already described how it has negatively impacted your desire. One of the best treatments for anxiety is using sensate focus exercises. Google "sensate focus," read about it and ask your girl friend to try it with you, but wait until AFTER finals.
3. And AFTER finals, revitalize your bedroom. Remove all textbooks and materials associated with sex. Remove any body building equipment. And most importantly, remove any pictures of family and friends. Just keep pictures of your girl friend. Buy bedding with the color red in the sheets.
4. Many body builders ignore the importance of cardio. Remember orgasms and desire come from the excessive flow of blood to the genitals. Go to a good bookstore and buy a book on Tantric sex and practice the breathing techniques which increases blood flow.
5. Plan sexual adventures for your girl friend that does not involve intercourse to ease the pressure. For example, google information about the art of giving a woman a bath or the yoni ritual. Oh ... the yoni ritual. Every man should do this for his lover at least twice a year.
6. Here's a tip, when you feel like it is not likely that you are going to get an erection, well forget about it, and perform oral sex on your girl friend. Don't stop when she has an orgasm, just slow down for a bit and keep sucking and licking, speeding back up. Keep going until you wear her out! She will be satisfied and there will be no pressure on you
Now, if none of these things work, I would encourage you to see a sex therapist. If you want, you can send me a private message and let me know what part of the country you live in and I will see if I can refer you to somebody.
Best of luck.