That is the question. Who likes it, who doesn't and why?

I love it! Of course, that wasn't always the case and the discovery took me by as much surprise as it did my husband. It's been over a year now and we include it as often as one of us feels the urge. I even found that he likes it a little now and then when I am giving him head.

As to why....well, I like the dominance factor that goes along with it in our relationship and usually I am getting some other kind of pleasure and it really kicks it up a notch. Having a high threshold for pain is a factor for me, and there have been times that I have been on the brink of orgasm and a couple of good smacks with his hand sent me right over the edge. The sharp sting of the smack and as that fades, the burning sensations that linger...and later, being reminded of all the naughty things we did when my buttocks come in contact with something hard.

As Brad in Bachelor Party says...."Pain is such a rush."

No way.

Violence and dominanace had fairly bad connotations in my life.

Simply the above avatar is enough to make me feel sick.

I apologize if my avatar offened you in any way snowflake or brought things to mind that upset you. It was intended to allude to my fantasies and not as a degredation of women in general. Although, in all fairness, my husband doesn't beat me and I am the one who asked him to spank me and he was reluctant at first...it is all just play for us and spice to our sex life. And that is something I won't apologize for.

I have to say, this is the first time I have ever felt judged by someone for my sexual choices and it was this website that gave me the courage to communicate my feelings to my husband about my dominance fantasies.

Just because we play alittle rough sometimes doesn't mean that we don't love and respect each other. My husband and I do not condone violence toward women, or men for that matter. He would be appalled at the thought, as am I, if that was your intention. If not, then to each their own.

For the record (and with the utmost respect to Snow) I LOVE YOUR AVATAR. I find it very artistic, sexy, and beautiful. Sheesh, compared with that one guy whose avatar is an ejaculating penis, yours is rated G by comparison. LOL I dont' think Snow is judging you, per say, but simply adding that she's had a bad experience, which I assume is the reason she doesn't take part in BDSM.

Badgirl, I would LOVE for my wife and I to play in this manner. In fact, we've actually sought one of the most knowledgeable people out there to help us. Unfortunately, since I want to be the one dominated, it means my wife has to assume a role with which she's extremely uncomfortable; that is, taking charge and doling out my "punishment." Ooh man, I just love the sound of that word! I might have to go to Glam for my spankings if I can't get my wife to do it.

Snow, BDSM isn't all about beating and pain - though I'd like to go there myself - but exploration, boundaries, and trust. Alicia loves BEING domm'ed, which is all fine and dandy, I guess. But I'm hoping to take it further and nudge her inner dominatrix to come out and play.

Thanks Freddy, I also happen to love my avatar and it made me feel kinda sick to think that it had offended someone enough to make them feel sick. I think that made me quick to jump to a conclusion that I might have been wrong about.

My husband is still hesitant at times, and I am quite accepting of it. We have come a long way since my first post here and there are times that he will take me by surprise....he is much like your wife in the sense that the dominant role is not something he is comfortable with.
Recently I have started writing him erotic fantasies of mine and things have heated up alot, in every aspect of our sexual relationship.

I can't thank you and your wife enough for starting this website....it has brought my husband and I closer sexually as well as emotionally. And even though he is not a member and I don't post as often as I like, we visit often and I even get him to read something besides the political posts, lol.

Good luck in bringing out the dom in your wife...maybe Glam could give our spouses some lessons!

Oh my oh my, stop there!!

I do not judge you in any way Been a Bad Girl, I thnk I expressed myself a bit more roughly than I intended.

I do realize that this kind of things is not at all about violence as such and if anything it reveals much more trust inside the couple than I (clearly) am able to conceive, at least in this department.

My utter lack of empathy in this field is something I perceive like a 'fault' in me, not in you, if nothing else as a fault in my understanding of human beings at large.

No intention whatsoever to judge, just hitting some bad spots inside me, sorry.
And I agree with Freddy that the avatar IS beautifuls per se, I don't need to repeat my fixation about good light in pics.
Sorry again.

I told Freddy I jumped to a conclusion...but it did upset me that I had upset you, lol. Not your fault, sometimes I feel a bit defensive about it since it is something I never thought in a million years that I would like. I am very dominant in our everyday like, which seems to suit us well. So maybe I am compensating for the stress of the responsibility of making alot of the big decisions and money matters, etc...

And I hope you accept my apology about the bad spots I hit, since I would not like to get off on the wrong foot with you and not just because I think your art is very beautiful, lol, but I have enjoyed reading your posts.

Plus, we both have something in common, we both like male gay scenes and pictures.

It's allright no worries.

Funny you mention the gay pics and my drawing right today a friend of a friend asked to use some of my paintings (one, Rest, was on my Flickr page) to illustrate (together with other artists) a book about homofobia, a topic I feel very close, since so many of my friends are gays. No need to say I am enthusiastic.

This is something that we've just added to our bag of tricks this year too. BeenABadGirl expressed my feelings almost to a T! I too am pretty dominate in our daily lives and it feels really good to sometimes just relinquish all control to someone else. We haven't delved very far into the BDSM thing yet, but I'm sure we will explore a bit further.

Freddy... I am tempted to say any time you want your bottom spanked come on over - but as neither you and Eddy or G & myself are in an open relationship that could be a bit of a challenge! Not that I am not willing to try it.

I have finally persuaded G that occassionally a few sharp slaps to my bottom are just what I need to g over the edge - certainly not all the time but once in a while 'oh yeh wow'

I love the occasional spanking. Just like almost any aspect of BDSM.

But, for the record, I AM moving this to the Dungeon where it rightfully belongs. Spankings to the one who didn't put it there in the first place

~Ang

My bride and I do partake in a little playful spanking when we are in the right mood. We realy have to be turned on (more than normal) before we start spanking. We only use our hands(if it hurt you hand it most certainly hurt the other) and we both have called uncle at time.

It was something my wife had to build up to. She is typically the less dominant person in the relationship and it took time for her to build up the "courage". BOTH people have to agree and set boundries.

Prex and I are into spankings. Well, he's into spanking me, which I love. We've also got a little whip we bought years ago, which is fun to use. It's nice because in daily life, I'm the more dominate one, so when he gets in bed and takes over, I love it!

Hubby usually spanks me once or twice a month. It's usually when we are more aroused than usual. I like the feel of it and he knows just the intensity I need. And he also knows when to use just his hand or the rubber paddle I surprised him with one night. There's just something about that slap and the feel of his hand or the rubber that sends me right over the edge.

Incidentally we are coming to LA the first week of December and looking forward to shopping at F & E in person. I'm thinking it's time to purchase the worm to enhance our sexual pleasure.