Ok so my hubby and I were emailing last night (he is gone right now) and have decided when he gets back we would like to try some light bdsm. Any good advice on what to buy and how to get started? we have done a little blind folded and arms tied but that is all and we are interested in going a little further. Thanks!! Proud wife.

We're in the same boat, although we have no problem with the gear, obviously. The main problem for us getting into BDSM has been that I want to be dominated, yet Eddy's personality isn't dominat-ING. Therefore, we can't seem to get "out of the gate," so to speak. I could just tell her what to do, but then I'M the one in control (also known as "domming from the bottom") and that's what I'm trying to get away from.

That said, we have had some great fun with simple cuffs and a blindfold. Tie him to the bed posts and take common items from your home, like a spatula for spanking, a silk hankerchief to run up and down his body, or some baby pins for some LIGHT poking.

Shit, I'm getting myself all wound up and have to go to an appointment at our store - good thing we have some great things there to get us into trouble!

Why do I suddenly get this picture of Freddy in some back room with a ball gag in his mouth trussed up ala "Pulp Fiction" style!? So you want Eddy to get medieval on yo ass?

Hey Topless,

I'm kinda worried about Buck. I'm checking out the boards and see he has posted on how to deep throat and now I read he is seeing Freddy tied up with a ball gag! Better keep an eye on him

Hey, I'm secure enough in my manhood to say I think Freddy is seeexxxxaaayyyy!

I have a ton of advice on different ways to get started, but for some reason my mind isn't working properly lately...

So I'll get back to you when I can think straight!

~Ang

Thanks!! I look forward to it! Proud wife

Are you kidding...I try to keep my eyes closed around him because he scaaarrres me

I think Tony C needs to shoot a Freddy and Buckshot video. Here are some ideas using the restraint of the Bonker http://www.bonkum.com/resourcePages/resource.php?RPID=19 maybe a sampling of everything, a trampling video would be good... I can see both trying it out, walking up and down on each other... yes, Tony I will help shoot this, but you need to come here in Los Angeles...

Dude, you WOULD NOT want to see THAT video, even floating around in cyber space!

So, what has happened to the advice?

I can only speak for the advice I would give, and since you asked what happened to it...

Pregnancy. And the lack of brain and/or mood attached to it.

~Ang

Ang,
I know what you mean.
The baby is almost 16 weeks old.My wife can be wanting it every half hour or cutting me off for a week at a time.

Just grin and bear it.

lol Cuervo, I remember that time...still doing the feast or famine thing now?

I noticed everyone's been focusing on the man getting dominated here, but what about the lady? Either way can be fun (although I haven't gone much further than the tying-up/blindfolded stage, maybe a little spanking here & there)

Personally, I MUCH prefer being the bottom in a BDSM setting, but I'm trying my best to become a switch for Ranger.

He has homework to do while he's gone, and if it doesn't get done, I don't top him. That's just the way it's going to be. I guess in a way it's topping by refusing to.

As far as getting started with some light bondage, I would strongly recommend using stuff that you have lying around the house first. Scarves, belts, stuff like that. If you've already tried that, then some shopping is in order. What to buy? Well, I'll get into that in a later 'episode'.

What to tie? Where to tie? How to tie? Well, other than the generic response of 'be creative', there's so many ways to answer these questions you could go insane trying to think of them all.

Let's start with some basic forethoughts.

The person doing the tying should consider what positions they wish to accomplish while their partner is in bondage. Doggy style and missionary are inherently the easiest to accomodate when in bondage, but many many more are not much more difficult.

Also important to consider is how much movement is to be restricted and what each partner is comfortable with, especially for the first timer. Remember, it's easier to reach for another tie than it is to attempt a quick and ofttimes clumsy release.

Access is crucial - you don't want to tie her legs together if you won't be able to reach her pussy! Similarly, why tie her arms across her breasts if you then won't be able to access her voluptuousness? In both of these situations, a little change of position could easily make the body part desired accessible, but it's important to again consider comfort and movement.

Most important of all forethought, however, is communication. It is my firm belief that gagging is a completely contraindicated practice for BDSM beginners. Both partners need to be able to iterate a safeword at any point during the play and gagging prohibits that. More experienced players can eventually work out a safe signal and then be gagged, but that's not something novices should be concerned with at such an early stage.

A good BDSM relationship, even when it's just light bondage and the occasional spanking, is built upon trust and communication. If you can't tell someone that last night's spanking was a little too rough for your liking, and conversely if they take that as incentive to go harder or just blow you off, then all you're doing is building an abusive situation. Both parties need to experience pleasure from the playtime or it's just Not Worth It.

SAFETY IS KEY.

Next time, I'll get more into actual play, but it's hard to concentrate on sex when a baby's kicking you in the bladder.

~Ang