i think we should all be naked....screw the clothes

Its 30 degrees here -- I can see your point put there would be an enormous amount of shrinkage in some areas.

MJ

Wonder why you get shrinkage, and my nipples get even harder?

Where's Nigel? He's like the science guy in those movies back in school.

Nigel is lagged. pondering the positioning of the Om machine in the new world order.

but i know. if you mix a little of this, and a little of that..*POOF* uh nevermind.

N.

Snow's Perfect Characterization.

i.e.: Me, too. How I feel = How I clothe.

I'll add: my closet is my costume room. I poeticize almost everything I put on. Even when I'm dumpy I'm dumpy as if I were in my own movie.

Don't leave out: medieval, ballerina, Catholic School Girl, Dandy, Front Row of Church, Victorian underwear, bowling alley slut,. . .imagination's the limit.

A little goes a very long way.

Snow's Fisherman Chic. Perfect.

I don't think "sexy." I think "what detail will keep me distinctive and unpredictable?"

It's not for everyone.

MrR's answer to, "What kind of lingerie do you like, Honey?" "None." Ajay hasn't popped up on my ancestry.com tree. Yet.

quote:

I poeticize almost everything I put on. Even when I'm dumpy I'm dumpy as if I were in my own movie.

Yes! Yes! Yes!
Sister!

I think a large part of the "dress sexy" or "dress down" question is based on simple practicality. Hotness and several others have touched on this already, but the majority of an adult's life is spent in activity where dressing nicely is impractical. Kids, pets, and work tend to destroy clothes so you have to often accept this and reserve the desire to dress nice for 'date night.'

But whether its moods, kids, finances, or whatever, I feel that nothing is as meaningful to a woman as truely showing and expressing to her how beautiful and attractive she is to you when she is dressed down (dumpy I think was the word recently used). After all you married the body, mind, and soul, not the clothes. Enjoy yourself and your family, but remember to enjoy it for what it is -- and not what once was or what could be.

And on a side note I love the "dilfintraining" monicer. Playful and yet showing a desire to improve oneself physically and emotionally. We all should be so endeavored.

quote:

Originally posted by silk:
MJ and Nigel have learned not to disagree with me. Learn from them or else

Me, on the other hand.... Ah, hell, I agree with you most of the time, Silky. I just like the whipping.

Back on topic....I also agree with Snow and can see that "comfy doesn't always equal sexy". Sweatpants are comfy. Not sexy. A silk slip with cute spaghetti straps? Probably comfy, definitely sexy. You get the point. The low libido=no sexy clothes thing was also right on target.

You said she's a mom now and says mom's don't wear those kinds of clothing. She may be feeling self-conscious. Her body most likely underwent some pretty big changes, and she may be uncomfortable with them. She probably knows you think she's beautiful, but I'm sure she also sees people out there dressing inappropriately for their body size and shape. Maybe she mistakenly (or rightly, we don't know what she looks like) thinks that she falls into that category and doesn't want to dress too "young" or something. Maybe she believes that once you're a parent, you give up your sexy side. All speculation on my part.

Make sure she takes some time for herself, as Cecily mentioned, Mom's tend to put everyone else first. Maybe get her a spa package...she may come back relaxed and energized and ready to "dress up" for you. Also, do you dress well for her? I often make more effort than my husband in that department, but after I explained to him that even though I work from home, I dress in jeans and something decent on top for HIM. Afterall, I could conceivably be in sweatpants and old t-shirts...nobody sees me! I asked him to make more of an effort because it makes me feel like HE is trying to keep me attracted to him. Big showoff Talk. It works. Try it.

quote:

Ah, hell, I agree with you most of the time, Silky. I just like the whipping.

Sweetie, you know I'd love my hands, and leather on you

Also back on subject somewhat. More than once I have let Michael see me slip jeans and a baggy sweat shirt over sexy undies, or no undies at all. The photo in his mind is much better than sharing with everyone at Chuckie Cheese's.

Everyone has their own idea of what constitutes sexy dress. I know there have been nights when I put on something other than slouchwear and my guy has commented about how nice I look. Nothing revealing, nothing form-fitting, just a nice top or something. I don't think it's about the specific items of clothing, but something about the "vibe" of a flattering outfit or color, and a dash of attitude. I know I have been surprised on a couple occasions when my guy has said, "you look nice," and I did not think I looked like much.

One funny story...I worked from home for a looooong time, and had a standard "comfy" outfit of ratty black stretch pants with holes in them, and an old blue sweatshirt covered in cat hair. That was my standard comfy outfit and I wore it whenever I was in the house...which was A LOT!! For my birthday one year, my guy bought me a new comfy outfit: beautiful pale blue yoga pants with a matching zip-up hoodie top made out of bamboo material. He was very sweet about it and thought it might be comfy and look a little nicer. I thought it was extremely thoughtful that he bought extra small pants, which I had to exchange for medium! I got the "hint" and promptly threw away the old comf outfit. I gladly wore my new, improved comfy outfit...and I felt much better about it myself!

I have no problem if my guy suggests I wear a certain outfit or dress. I feel good when I know he thinks I look nice. It's not about control, and anyone who knows me knows I don't wear clingy, revealing, see-through, or otherwise "sexy" clothes! And I like it when my guy dresses up and wears a nice shirt...but I also love him just as he is now: hanging out on the couch in pajama bottoms and a long-sleeved T-shirt!

quote:

Also back on subject somewhat. More than once I have let Michael see me slip jeans and a baggy sweat shirt over sexy undies, or no undies at all. The photo in his mind is much better than sharing with everyone at Chuckie Cheese's.

definitely comfy, definitely sexy. my point illuminated very well. thanks silk!

N.

quote:

Ok good points. The wife and I have been together for 20+ years and we are still learning about each other. Marriage is a 24/7 journey not with just your mate.


I don't get it with the milf, dilf, gilf thing. So I want to look hawt for my wife and the dilf reference is a target for a goal.

I APPLAUD your 20+ years together, buddy. And I TOTALLY agree with you on this, having recently passed our 21st Anniversary, almost 25 years together.

And BTW, thank You for your honesty, and putting yourself 'out there', as well. I've been watching this thread, not really knowing what I wanted to say. But you've taken a bit of a 'beating' by some. Just want you to know that for what it's worth, I'm impressed with your steadfastness, your holding your composure (unlike MYSELF! )

I'm a very feminine TOMBOY. I look one way...the very feminine side...I also prefer deep, sensual lovemaking. I [would]prefer my man to be the 'aggressor' in bed, to 'heat me up' to wanting to f___ his brains out! Today I happened to buy a very lacy but SOFT (not all lace is soft, btw), feminine bra & BOY SHORT set (Lunaire brand, leopard-style).

I am a mother...many MOTHERS get HEMORRHOIDS! I'm also in my mid-40's. I have a little...even after surgery. I'm not overweight, and my butt isn't "Buns of Steel"-hard, but it isn't so bad. But thongs aren't my thing. I happen to love the comfort of boy shorts and soft, COTTON BIKINI BRIEFS for everyday...and WHITE. It's healthier! My ass is MORE than a handful, too.

My point is, you and your wife really CAN find something that appeals to BOTH your tastes. BUT you MUST communicate, and/or as previously suggested, go shopping together...preferably to a specific lingerie store, or one with a large lingerie department with 'seasoned' employees available.

You've been together too long for it NOT to have a positive outcome. I really, really appreciate "the hotness'" comments above, as well.

You probably didn't even really NEED- need us as much as you maybe thought you did, anyway!

A couple of weeks ago, my wife (out of the blue) mentioned she wanted to dress more sexily. The difficulty is she is a teacher and there for sexy is not a good business dress plan. She decided that sexy undies would be appropriate. So we looked together. Although she wanted sexy she also needed comfortable. We looked together and founds some nice things.

Beware: n most business situations, the more sexy the less respect. A woman (and men) can look attractive and still be respected. first impressions are important and if a woman is showing a lot a skin (cleavage, short and tight fitting skirts, blouses bordering on shear, very high heals (aka stripper shoes I once heard then called)) can work against a woman. It is not right but that is they way it is. Many companies have dress codes and you need to investigate what is appropriate and not.

I have had to one several occasions send an agent home to change because of their dress. I also asked a female team lead or manager to speak with the agent and instruct her on proper dress (it actually works better when an experienced female agent explains the code. There is less chance of being taken the wrong way.) A could of schools where my wife has worked have sent students home to change also.

In short, as I said in an earlier post, do some home work and communicate with each other. My wife and I had a lot of fun looking for bras, cammies, and panties (on-line mostly). Then I had even more fun watching her try on what we selected.

Happy Holidays,
MJ