I am married for 15 years or so. I am 55 years old and my wife is 61. I am sexually active with masturbation. My wife does not want any sex except for cuddling. I need to masturbate to fulfill my sex drive. I am of the mind that masturbation is normal for healthy sex life; she is of a different opinion.

Is there anything to spice up my sex life with my wife and/or myself? Any tips for our sex life or my solo sex life?

for us just plenty of lube was helpful.i also became aquainted with metal cock rings.the misses really wakes up when there is plenty of time for oral between her legs.

Messing around, take the time to check out some of the other treads for advice. The main theme you will find is that communication is the key. Spending time together doing things, whether it is talking, listening to music, sharing a great meal... A relationship on works when you are communicating. Spend quality time with each other ... be there for her. I'm 60 and G is 66 our sex life just keeps on improving!

On a practical physical level is she her vagina dry and sex therefore uncomfortable for her? In which case a good lube may just do the trick.

Masturbation is normal, but not if you are masturbating to the exclusion of anything else, especially if your wife is not happy with this.

As it sounds like your sex life as a couple is non-existent I'm not sure how to suggest you spice it up! How about starting off by forgetting the actual 'sex' and just enjoying the kissing and cuddling without putting any pressure on her.

My wife and I have sex that includes intercourse, oral, and masturbation, done solo and by the other.

We have both gotten past upbringings which taught us that masturbation was wrong, that we should feel bad and guilty about it. While I hope the sex rekindles with your wife, it's my opinion that you should not feel bad about masturbation.

Welcome Messing Around! As the previous posts have suggested, there are a lot of threads in the message boards that can help give you ideas to spice things up. Just go to the "Find" tab at the top and put in key words in the "Search" field. As GG has said, take the pressure of the act of sex out and let your wife tell you what makes her relaxed and romantic. Once she is in the state of relaxation or "cuddling" she will be apt to more sexual relations. Of course my normal adage of "communication" is foremost the most important. You need to speak up and tell her your wishes and work together on making your love making a priority.

Im sorry for your predicament. I'm assuming that you did not realize that sex would totally stop at some point. I have little sex also and know that either we would not be married or there would have been a way different set of rules agreed upon before marriage had I known this earlier.

Too bad if she does like masturbation. It's not her body, and by the way, what has she done for you lately??? It's o.k. to say you can't have something AS LONG SHE IS GIVING YOU SOMETHING. she is not, though.....

While I don't share what I do with my wife, I have porn and toys and sort of do my thing seperate from her. If she discovers things and has a problem, we'll talk. I'll say to her what I'm saying to you - put up or shut up.

Here are some things that my lover and I discovered that really work for us. I am 62, she is 57. After she went through her menopause, her vagina was dry and very sensitive. We started to use lots of lube, I really like going down on her to get her really wet first. I don't see many people out there that say they use rubber latex gloves, they can be quite a turn on, there ar no sharp finger nails that can irritate or hurt. I have found as well, that she likes to be "handled". I will lube her real well and just take her, she say that is a real turn on. Once when I did take her, I shaved her vagina totaly bald, she has been bald ever since, she says it really feels good and she feels much cleaner down there. We have discovered toys as well, and a good quality dildo is a real turn of for her when I use it on her.
Just some ideas that work for us.