I've never had anal but am dying to try it. But i havent been able to get my girl to try it? I've read almost everything there is about it but still nothing. Anything would help thanks

Okay, I'm going to rant and rave at you. You probably don't deserve it but your "request" has always been a hot button for me.

There are many on these boards who love anal, and probably as many or more that don't. This isn't about who is voted prom queen and king. It's about being in a relationship and accepting boundaries of your partner, or rather, tell me how can I make my partner do something they don't want to do, solely for my benefit and pleasure. Selfish and self centered come to mind.

Having said that, have you tried easing into it? Teasing her with a finger, tongue? If so, and she still says no thanks, decide what you want, a relationship with a beautiful loving partner, or an asshole

for the longest time, I was in the 'exit only' camp. i've had a couple of boyfriends do some exploration in a loving and gentle way, but insofar as penis insertion goes, it was not comfortable. it takes practice, i suppose, but i broke up with said boyfriends before practice commenced. it's worth saying that the anal play was not a factor in the breakups.

my husband and I have talked about it, but there's no pressure. we'll get around to it, or maybe not.

but I agree with silk...teasing and gentleness around the area to start, and if your girl says no and is really uncomfortable, you should back off a bit. if she's anything like me, the more pressure she feels, the more resistant she can become.

I've also for the most part been "exit only." It's only recently that I was able to start enjoying anal, and that's only when I'm extraordinarily turned on and have a clit vibrator so I get some good stimulation too.

One word of advice, sticking ANYTHING large up a little hole is going to hurt. It's not something that a normal person is just going to let you do, especially on the spur of the moment. Teasing and tempting may make her willing to try it, but when it comes down to the act, it may simply hurt her too much to continue (and if you continue when it's agonizing her, you are the asshole.)

Also take the time to consider whether you really do want to try anal, or if you're just caught up by the idea. Basil and I have discovered that we often like the idea of a particular kink until we've tried it. Sometimes the result just isn't worth the trouble of getting ready to do it.

If anal sex is "done properly" it doesn't hurt, it is painful if you are not properly aroused, and completely confortable with what you are doing. Oh and a ton of lube helps too.

SO what I suggest, if you ever get your partner to willingly explore the possibility (which will depend on your comunication skills and the level of trust between you and your partner), is to forget about sticking your thingy into her thingy for a long long while. Start with a soft, small, cute and non-treatening butt plug, so she has a chance of getting used to backdoor penetration without too much straining. Personally I think putt plugs are a lot more confortable than fingers, both physically and psycologically.

You say you read almost all there is to read about it (you must be a terific reader, or be very very old, lol), but did SHE read anything? DId you try to share information, confortably and in a relaxed way, without pressure (as in bringing up the thing in bed when you are already halfway between her legs)?

The most effective way to get your girl to try it is as follows:

1) Wait until your girlfriend/wife/fiance/random female friend/feminist you met on the street/hooker is naked

2) Drop pen on floor

3) Exclaim "Oops!! Oh golly, I've dropped my Pen!!!"

4) Ask your girlfriend/wife/fiance/random female friend/feminist you met on the street/hooker to kindle be a dear and pick it up for you

5) When she's bent over- STRIKE!!

Note the ridiculous sarcasm in this statement. Do NOT try this- it will get you screamed at/slapped/beaten/sued/killed, depending on who it is you try it on.

In all honesty, this sort of activity is really up to your girl. If you two have a convo on it, discuss it, and she still says no, you're pretty much shit outta luck. Trying to find a way to pressure or trick her into doing it helps nothing, and is just bad form.

anal sex is one of my wife's favorites because of the huge concentration of nerve endings in the anus. she can have tremendous orgasms, but, i really don't have any sage advice for you.

i guess if it were me, i'd just be prepared for the proper moment to occur. have a ready supply of GOOD lube available (Sliquid, ID Lube ect.) nothing petroleum based, or you'll definitely never get a chance at round 2.

if said chance occurred to lube up and insert a WELL LUBED forefinger during sex, that may help to bring down those inhibitions that MAY be lurking in the closet.

as others have stated, in the end..(no pun intended)it's her ass to do with what she wants. if you're lucky, you may be able to eventually get inside it.....maybe not. it's all about relaxation, trust and communication.

I crave this from MrR. He's still a little squeamish.

So sometimes I do a horizontal pen-drop.

Occasionally, I can get his eyes to roll back and then he'll do almost anything until he comes to.

Then lately I've been announcing that I'm his Dom, his dick is mine and cannot have any fun unless I allow it. Or I'll lock it up. He's been a very naughty boy.

This might actually advance my ulterior motive.

thanks guys for all the advice. We have done practice sessions before but she just isn't that into it. I can get some better lube and try it again but its just something that i've always wanted to do.

(This is mostly pasted from a similar thread,)

Every guy has a checklist of stuff to do before they die. Anal is on the list.

Jill flatters me by reminding me that I'm the biggest guy she's ever been with, and she just can't handle it. (Sometimes I buy it.) And I can drive her crazy with anal stimulation.

Here's what I came to. Maybe it will happen. Maybe it won't. A couple of things to reflect, is it that it would really be that great, or that it's something you just have to do? "To have a thing is not so nice as to want. It is illogical, but often true." (That's from Trek, pretty deep, huh?) The anus is a bit tighter. but REALLY, is it something you can live without? I'm still panting like a puppy grateful every time I get vaginal sex, I don't need to get greedy for anal. I already have better sex than any of my friends.

In a recent Playboy interview with Drew Pinsky, he says something I had heard him say many times before, but he elaborates a bit. The vagina is made for sex. The anus is not. If it's painful, it's not healthy. There is a growing backlash of people who had a lot of anal sex when they were younger, who now have problems such as prolapse (when the colon starts to fall out of the anus,) and the need for sphincter replacement. (How would you like to explain THAT one to the Dr.?) He thinks that the proliferation of porn in the last 20 years, has made it seem like something that's supposed to be on everyone's menu.

MAYBE one day, when were in Vegas, and we've had a bottle of Dom, and she's well warmed up, and I've been working her ass with my fingers, she will look at me and say, "I want you in my ass. Now." I will ask, "Are you sure? It's ok if you're not." She says, "yes, I need it now, I know I'm ready." If that day never comes, I guess I'll have to settle for more amazing sex than any of my friends.