Whats going on? We have been together for three years now. The sex started out great and still is when she is in the mood.
We don`t live together but see each other two are three times a week. She says she don`t want it as often anymore. Once every two weeks is fine. I am wanting it atleast twice a week. Am I asking to much?. I don`t want to get it somewhere else. We are committed to each other.
I am 65 and don`t want to spend my time helping myself with the hand. Don`t need pills!!

When I bring up the subject she don`t care to talk about it.

I told her a man thinks only this. She is just not wanting it. She is getting it somewhere else are helping herself in other ways. She likes her computer and I know she talks to one guy when I am not around, but she says they are just friends. He lives 3000 miles away. I seen one of there Chat talks and he says he will vist her in the future. She also told him she will still talk to him and "what I don`t know won`t hurt me" I think something is going on?. but she says no.

Sex every two weeks...I don`t think so. What should I do? and what should I tell her to get this worked out?

Lol, I have a feeling some people out there would kill to have sex every two weeks. That said, if you think it's not enough, there is definitely a problem.

Now, she says she doesn't want any more than that.
1) it may be true, simple and true. Most women have a lower sex drive than men and in a committed and loving relationship a compromise between the extremes is to be found, if things are to work for both. It's all about respect. The fact that she wanted more at the beginning is neither here nor there, the beginning of many relationships has a flush of romance and passion that later on settles into a more quiet routine. It may be sad,but it's true.

2) she may be "helping herself", and as such it is not a crime, is it? Masturbation often satisfies needs that are not met by sex. May be some calm talk is in order to see if there are such needs, if they are at all addressed during your sexual encounters, if she is willing to try out different things, so that this sexual experiences can be shared by the two of you, instead of being hers alone. And may be wonder if YOU are doing all you can to satisfie all her needs in bed and out. And, finally, accept that "helping oneself" is one's right, and the sexuality is first and formeost about one's relation with his/her body, and that a certain amount of private play is nothing but healthy.

3) She may be getting sex somewhere else... or not. Until you have absolute proof that this is true, you may want to keep this out of your main concern. There is nothing like nagging suspicion to crash a relation and hinder communication. You say she chats with this guy 3000 miles away. Why is she chatting with him? Is she lacking romance and attention in your relationship, is she needing to feel purred at and courted? Could it be? Or is she just plain bored, and searching for easy flings? Or could it be just plain friendship? You do need to have a long talk about this, let her understand that you are feeling a bit worried and that you want to know what is going on. If you two are having a committed relation it is your right to know. If she dodges the conversation no matter what... not good.

Try to bring this out in a calm moment when you have time at your hands, and no pressure. Not in bed, not before bed. A peaceful car trip, or during cooking, a walk in the countriside.... all good situations to talk in peace, and give both of you time to pause and think about your answers.

Best of luck.

Basil and I went through a period where I didn't want any, at all. I was never in the mood, never turned on, almost always had a headache or was too tired, etc.. Sad, but true, it happens. Part of the problem for me, was I felt pressured by Basil's constant drive. Even when I tried my best and gave him all he wanted, he wanted more. There's nothing that irritates me as much as my best not being "good enough."

During that time, yes, I masturbated. It was the only way I could satisfy my needs without feeling I wasn't meeting his demands.

As for the chatting, I wouldn't worry if I were you. At the moment, some third person 3000 miles away that might theoretically pop up to meet her some day is the least of your concerns. Even if there is some connection between the two, who's to say you can't work any fantasies she might have about him into your relationship? Perhaps even considering a threesome with the chat person could add the spark that your love life is missing.

Only communication is going to solve these problems. Before starting a serious conversation though, I'd take a long time and do a bit of self insight. Could she possibly find your needs as demanding as I once found Basil's? Until you get a truthful answer to those questions, I don't think you can go much further towards a solution. If your aren't being a bit eager, does the problem lie in her being stressed by a job, regular life, or any extenuating circumstances?

Does she masturbate and chat to relieve those stresses? Does she feel your relationship lacks romance or the "spark" that was there when you started? Any of those answers can lead to the source of the problem which may, or may not be your healthy desires. In fact, there's seldom one, concrete reason why a woman is never in the mood.

Thank you for some well needed advice.

Just so you know I always make sure her needs are fulliled first. Out relatation has been tops except for this with me.
I always see romance is there and always see to her every need. If she is helping herself I have no problem with that. We started out watching porn but now nothing. We used toys, now she don`t want that. Sex also has to be after midnight. I have been bending over backwards to please her in everyway. She says we are getting to know each well and don`t think we need to be as we were when we met. She has also put on 20 lbs. she said now that she has her man she don`t need to worry about that anymore and laughts...I have over the last 3 years lost 80 lbs because she said I would feel better. she was right so why is it good for me and not for her?. I was at 245 now 179. she was 130 now 150. I have tried talking to her about the sex thing whild we were out driving and other quite times. No response?
Somestimes I have noticed she will not be feeling good when I approch sex early in the day, at night its my tummy is upset are my back hurts is this a way of not wanting sex are am I missing something here?. She says she loves me very much and I am the best thing thats ever happen to her. I wonder if I`m losing my luster to her?. OH, she is 62

I agree wholeheartedly with what both Snowflake and Donnaly have said, so definitely take time to re-read their responses if you haven't already.

If I may add a little though. Sometimes with weight gain in women comes the idea that they are not sexy anymore. If she doesn't feel sexy, she won't want to have sex. Metabolism slows down in women starting in their 20's (usually) so if she's in her 60's, perhaps eating habits or exercise habits have caught up with her. Maybe join a gym together and make an effort to cook healthy meals together.

Is it possible your lady is depressed? If she is depressed, that can also depress the sex drive, and she should see a doctor. Weight gain can also be a symptom (as well as a cause of) depression. Also, she may be of the mindset that since she's in her 60's, people of that age "don't do THAT" anymore. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes ideas people have can take over, even if they aren't completely rational. Definitely have a conversation with her about how you feel, but don't blame. That will just make her defensive and you won't get anywhere with the conversation. Good luck!

Update> Its amazing what communation will do...I found out because of her past she was never allowed to talk about sex openly so therefore that was one of the big problems.

we talked on the phone two nights ago and WOW I got her to open up. For what ever reason it made it easier for her.

Now the gel is by the bed. I guess you can figure that one out. If it hure me I wouldn`t want to have sex either.

Last night was "Great" Well it was better than that....lol

while the lights were out we even talked more. I can see its going to be little steps at a time.

She told me last night was the best sex she has had since the early 80`s in her words, "OH MY GOD" Guess you know I loved to hear that. And the oral because she was well at ease was beyond out of this world. At our ages me 65 her 62 going at it for two and one half hours and reaching the top two times was wild. Jesus we felt like 30 again...lol

Bottom line is!! find a way to TALK" TALK
TALK!!

Thank you for your suggestions

Glad to hear things went well. Lube and discussion can do wonders!