I am a very happily married heterosexual female. I love my husband and his masculinity excites me to no end.

We have been married for over 10 years now and have occasionally entertained fantasies involving me with other women because they excite both of us. Despite my heterosexuality, I have always had a fascination with women in a very physical, sexual sense. I am instantly attracted to female body parts and I continue to find thoughts of being with other women incredibly exciting.

At this point I am using my fantasies to enrich my sexual relationship with my life partner,and we both enjoy them. I have been nervous about the intensity of the feelings for myself, mainly because I'm not sure where it could ultimately lead. I've never been with another female but find myself desiring it intensely at times.

Are there other bicurious females out there who are married, very committed to their heterosexual partners, but still interested in other women and the experiences that could bring excitement into their relationship? I'd love to hear from you and how this experience of bi-curiosity has been for you.

Are there men out there in long-term, committed relationships who have experiences with their bicurious partner to share?

Thanks for any input on my journey of curiosity...

First off welcome Mina Girl. I think you will find us a friendly bunch, not shy about offering advice, whether you ask for it or not

I like to use the term bi-comfortable which someone shared with me not to long ago. I'm happily married for several years, but have shared some intimate times with other women. Hubby knows I have, and will probably again, though he doesn't know with who. That's not to keep secrets, but rather to prevent a big surprise at a backyard BBQ. He has supported my exploration.

All I would tell you at this point, you need to talk this through with your spouse, then talk some more. I'm not sure from your post "bring excitement into their relationship" whether you are talking about a threesome with another woman, or you having a one on one experience with another woman. The dynamics, and possible pitfalls varybetween the two.

Good luck!

Thanks for the post, Silk, and thanks for the welcome. Bi-comfortable definitely does not describe me...I am at this point very uncomfortable with actions and enjoying the thoughts only.

My commitment to my spouse is first and foremost, but he is also comfortalbe with my exploration. He actually encouraged me to come post to the forum. So when I mentioned bringing in excitement, I was referring to my relationship with him. I'd like to know your experience with dynamics and pitfalls of both threesome and a one on one experience with another woman.

Hi Mina Girl! While I have not had any experience at all with other women, I do enjoy fantasizing about it. In fact, it's one of my favorites!

I could be wrong, but I think many women on this board, including myself, enjoy thinking about what it would be like to be with a woman in some way or another. Some of us, like the lovely Silk, have experience, some of us (like me) do not. Even though I find the thoughts very arousing, if given the opportunity to go through with it in "real life", I'm not sure I would. For me, at least, it's better left in my immagination. My husband and I haven't even discussed the idea, but if the desire did become so acute that I needed to be with another woman or burst, you bet I'd talk to him about it first.

Silk was right on the money when she suggested communcation was key. It's okay if you're not comfortable with actions and only with fantasy. If you did feel the need to make the jump, definitely discuss it with your husband. As you mentioned before, your relationship with him comes first. So talk, talk again, and talk some more And welcome to the boards!

Oh, one more suggestion...the Online Sexual Role Play threads are often pretty hot, and a lot of ladies participate. Feel free to start your own senario or join one already in progress, even if it's an old thread. You can help indulge your fantasies that way too!

I fantasize about being with another woman a lot and I love to watch gal/gal porn. I've never actually gone there in person, and I'm not sure if I really need to. It always seems more appealing as a fantasy rather than reality.

My guy and I have been to swingers clubs (or whatever you want to call them), but in the context of being around real naked ladies, all I really wanted to do was jump my guy's bone...and show off a bit. Never actually had the urge to participate in any female fun. That being said, who knows what could happen in the future! But I do imagine that if I ever did want to get-it-on with another gal, I would certainly want my guy to be there to watch!

Thanks for the comments; I'm like the both of you above...loving the thoughts but not sure if they could ever translate into actions. Also my husband and I are best friends, and we are speaking very openly with each other about all of this, so communication is critical, as you have both said.

I've never been in a situaion other than locker room/shower house scenarios where I've been with naked women in a place where they were supposed to be that way, such as in a club like you have mentioned.

Jill is looking over my shoulder here,

She fantasizes about it a lot, and it's something to fuel the bedroom talk, but for us, it's all talk. I have even been fair, in suggesting that I get her a lap dance, but she really enjoys the idea of me getting a lap dance while she watches. We have written several stories like this.

Girl/girl porn holds appeal for both of us for several reasons, in jill's case, it's mostly because she doesn't like any of the guys in porn. But like everything else in porn, enjoying the fantasy doesn't mean it has anything to do with reality. We asked, seriously, if the opportunity presented itself, no strings, no consequences, no worries, is it something she would want to do? She decided probably not.

Thanks for the comments Jack and Jill. I think I'm probably in the same place you and your wife are. It's nice to have people to identify with in both thoughts and actions...

I took a while answering this because actually I wanted to make order in my thoughts and this turned out very interesting for my own self. I always considered myself bisexual, although more oriented towards guys, and there was a time when I was definitely bi-confortable (great word) as well, and messed around with other women, even went all the way to sex and really enjoyed it.

Now I am into a very stable relation with the most adorable man ever (sorry ladies) and we ahve a very open communication about all this and all the rest as well, and we thought and talked a lot about the possibility of 3some (ffm, since he is not into guys). It may very well happen, but I find that I have lost much of my bi-urge over the time.

I think if the urge is very tormenting, and both you and your husband are confortable with it, it would be a good thing for you two to visit some place where you can be "exposed" to sexy girls in scanty dress (see Michie post above) and study how do you feel about it. This could solve the problem very fast, showing if perhaps you prefer to keep it in fantasy world. Jack and Jill story writing and sharing is I think and ingenoíous way to explore dangerous ground together in detail without risks: that may help you to clarify your thoughts and vent a bit, and talk with you hubby. Sometimes imagining a fantasy story through and through in writing, or whatever else creative medium you may prefer is enough to exhaust its attraction.

If nothing of that is enough... well then, some more talking will be needed.

Thanks for the post, Snowflake. As I've told others this week, I've gotten some really good input as well as some clarification this week. I think I'm nowhere near ready for an experience...just not quite ready for me to move out of my head and into reality. Not sure when/if I will ever be...

how does one know really until they are in that situation? I get far hotter watching girl on girl porn then I do straight... show me some real gals into each other and I am ready to rip into dh ...

I do wish that I had experimented at least once with this before I got married. the one night I had the opportunity the guys that we were with sort of freaked out when we took our clothes off and headed for a skinny dip together roflmbo...

wonder what would have happened if they hadn't interrupted....

quote:

Originally posted by silk:


I like to use the term bi-comfortable which someone shared with me not to long ago.

Thank you sooo much for that term! I was bi curious untill I recently had my first girl/girl experience. Now I can truly see that I am not bi.. I prefer the male species. That being said, I did enjoy it and look forward to more. The girl I mess with considers herself bi, and that is all fine. But I have trouble classifying myself as that.

Thanks again!

My girlfriend of 3 years has had sex with her girlfriends in the past, and still once in a while gets a crush on a younger cuter girl, or on an older more powerful sexy-type of woman.

She pretty much tells me everything that's going through her head. She hasn't had sex with anyone else since being with me, and told me that she wouldn't do anything with another girl unless she had my full approval. And for the record, I am not comfortable with a threesome or orgy-type of situation, so it would have to be just the girls alone if I was comfortable with it.

Honesty, openness, and trust are all vital to a strong relationship.