I don't know if this has been discussed before or not, but at least I cannot remember anything so specific.
Ok, so this is the problem: the first week after bleeding I can think of nothing but sex. I see cocks flying in the sky, and I can hardly keep my mind off it. The second week or ten days "after" I am a peaceful amenable wife who like to have sex especially if it is initiated by the hubby. The third week after bleeding I become a sort of white madonna lily, never touched by a thought of sex and I am really quite uninterested in the whole business. It does not mean that I don't want to have sex. If sufficiently pestered I will make love and enjoy it, but left to myself the simple idea of masturbating seemsto belong to another planet.

It is really quite a severe difference, and it is a bit frustrating, not to say annoying. How are the other ladies experience in this?

I don't remember the difference in period weeks being so marked when I was younger (I am 31 now). If it becomes worse I will start biting chunks off my husband at certain times, of shooting him in the balls at other times, it is a worrying thought! DOes it become worse? Is there a cure? Am I a lost woman? Help!!

i doubt you're lost...

and i can only comment regarding my wife. there are "times" when she's really not interested, but fortunately they only last a couple of days, and always just prior to her period. she's started going through menopause, and when she's in one of those 2-3 month stretches without bleeding she's a happy eager and active sex partner. but if her mood regarding sex changes, i know what's going to happen even before she does.....since she doesn't notice the difference right away. does that make any sense?????

No. Yes it becomes worse. You have approached the abyss and looked. It's terminal. No cure, as far as I can tell. Only about 60 more years and it will begin to ease.

I didn't begin to notice it until I was 47. In my case, I didn't notice much at all until I was 47.

I couldn't describe it better.

Except every third month when I become an alien being, order something strong, swagger off to play pool until someone rescues me, get very intoxicated, cry especially in public, yell like I have discovered I have untreated Turretts, then remorse eat huge hamburgers, become a misunderstood, underloved, unloved, taken advantage of, overworked, unmade bed, stepped on miscreant, who thanks God for my beautiful sainted mate, whose chest hair I could tweeze for hours, become utterly unpredictable which keeps everyone alert, become insanely jealous of wet dreams, pornography, cell phone jokes, anything with breasts or a great ass, I get up in the middle of the night and begin to stuff MrR's skinny clothes into plastic bags to take to charity, draw signs that have arrows pointing to places on a stick figure demanding where he should kiss, get a deranged sense of competitiveness for my pathetic bowling game, think I have permanently ruined my marriage and beg for asylum, slam, dart, hide, narrow my eyes, stomp off, won't talk, want to "talk," Yikes.

Then I bleed out, get a migraine, wish I could swoon just for the attention and in 18 hours I'm a sweet horny bitch again.

In the intervening months I just have pms and a regular period. After that I get very horny for 10 days. Then just moderately horny. And, like you said.

Hello!

Well I am new to the board, but I hope nobody minds my putting my two cents in.....I'm hoping to be a regular poster since I have been a regular reader for quite some time now.

I also have conflicting sex drives based on times of the month. I am in my mid 30's...and just noticed some changes coming on in the last year or so. Where i wasn't that overly sexual in my late 20's..I find that I am like a teenage boy now. The few days before my period..and usually through it, I am as horny as can be. I could have sex several times a day if my husband could oblige me. After a week or so..I am still very interested but the urgency calms down..and then a week or so later I am back to neutral...I still love sex but I tend to focus on the stuff I have to do more.

So my question is...do you tell your SO that you are as horny as you are or do you keep that to yourself? I have been VERY happily married for 15 years to the love of my life, but I still feel embarassed telling him that I need so much sex at those times. Especially since he is in his 40's and although his plumbing still works, he tires out much faster.

Maya

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do you tell your SO that you are as horny as you are or do you keep that to yourself?

He usually gets the concept without any words. WOman crawling over you for a ride in the middle of the night is sort of self-explaining

Welcome to the boards, and thanks for contribution, we don't mind at all, quite the contrary!

Snow I think it is actually quite normal for a woman's libido to fluctuate depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. Even now after the menopause I have weeks when G almost has to go into hiding and others where, whilst I am happy to make love, I am just as happy to have a quick cuddle and a kiss and go to sleep.

GG

quote:

Originally posted by Glamourous Granny:
I have weeks when G almost has to go into hiding and others where, whilst I am happy to make love, I am just as happy to have a quick cuddle and a kiss and go to sleep.

GG

Haha, same here! There are those times when he sees me coming at him and he wants to head for the hills (no, not really) and some days when I want nothing to do with sex whatsoever. I think you're perfectly normal, Snow, whatever that may mean

Ah, so we are all on the same boat. Ok. FIne.

What makes me mad is that those little hormone-buggers can have such an influence on me EVEN when I am actively thinking about it.What about mind stronger than flesh and all that stuff? There are those "certain" day when I concentrate and tell myself " Sex, think sex." but nope, the switch does not work. Grrrr.
I always hated chemistry, even at school.

Interestingly enough, Jill's desire pattern reflects yours almost exactly, Snow, but it's not as extreme. (At least she never TELLS me she hallucinates about flying cocks.)

The things that we have observed, since we've been married, are that she has become more conscious about making sure she gets sex during that last week before menstruation, because if she doesn't, she will go nuts during her period. (After some compromise and experimentation, we have decided to just let that be a blackout period for sex. I don't mind, but she just doesn't like it.) Also, immediately following her period, she is especially horny, she's really not sure if it's a cyclic thing or if she has just gone too long without.

I know it is nothing to do with the preceding black out period, because there is no black out period. T is ALWAYS game! I EVEN get the best oral sex ever during period because he does not get "unnecessarily distracted" in deep places and concentrates deliciously on my clit!!

It's odd: Tell/Ask/Get, or not to Tell/Ask/Get.

I also will sometimes just get on top of MrR in the deep of night, when he's dreaming about sex, no sound, not talk, pretend it's anonymous kind of game.

That turns into a double bind for me. It's exciting for me psychologically. It's exciting for him psychologically, and physically. But the hormones. My horny hormones wake up during the day and come back double-shot.

I'm not a talker. That's okay. I eventually talk and by then I've gotten MrR's attention.

Meantime, I scheme and dream and use my imagination to try to stimulate his imagination. Doesn't always work. Sometimes works great.

One thing, of many, I have learned from this exceptional board is that a good sex life is made, not born. Made of commitment to The Connection and not only to satisfaction of either of us.

And not always in ways I expect.

I know disappointment from lack of synchronicity will happen. My reaction to it is better or worse.

My answer: be flexible. Especially with myself. It's the routine that makes those amazing times so amazing. Intimate. Magical. Deep.

Interesting topic. Sorry I didn't chime in sooner. Been a little out of the loop lately...

I can personally attest to the power of hormones. I have endometriosis (see this thread for more). One of the treatments for endo is to arrest estrogen production by means of injection for 6 months. No estrogen = menopause.

So I did that for 6 months. Chemically induced menopause. What a lesson in the power of hormones! I swear...Adonis himself could have walked naked before me and I would have asked him to please get out of my way. NO sex drive whatsoever. NONE. Zilch, zero, nada. There was nothing I could do to change it. With my usual health sex drive, it was extremely confounding.

I also totally lost my short-term memory, but that's another story!

All this to say that hormones are VERY powerful drugs! I am now totally hormonally regulated -- i.e. continuous birth control -- so I don't experience those fluctuations anymore. But when I did, I most certainly noticed a difference in horniness throughout my cycle. I was always totally horny after the start of my period. The week leading up to it, not so much, as I experienced horrendous PMS and then ferrocious, pass-out inducing cramps during the first few days.

Anyway, I have tremendous empathy for the ladies out there who experience such uncontrollable and very-hard-to-explain-to-partners hormonal fluctuations!

This is something I have noticed about myself in the last few years, I am 33 now, am not on any type of birth control, and have not been on any type for nearly 10 years. So either the hormonal patterns were too erratic to notice when I was younger or I just didn't pay attention is anyone's guess.

I am not abnormally horny during my bleeding times, directly before or after. But what happens when I am ovulating (a few weeks after period) is truly a marvel. I get so raging horny that everyone looks good to me. From the man down the street mowing his lawn (oh yeah baby - get out the weed whipper), to the barely out of his teens guy walking by my house at lunch time (I catch myself remembering them that young - when I was that young - so eager to please, so energetic, I feel so dirty). And don't even get me started on that sexy little number at the gas station who always makes a point of touching my hand when taking my money after pumping. With a wink, he gives me my receipt and I can barely drive away.

My husband makes me want to dry hump him - and that's just for taking out the garbage. I think I have never seen a more beautiful sight than his bulging jeans while he explains to me the difference between dry wall screws and wood screws and why I should never be allowed to touch any type of tool - EVER. But all I really hear is "Blah blah, blah. Screw, screw, Screw. Blah blah Blaah." I beg and plead for his cock while he tries in vain to watch CSI:Miami. What would Horatio do?

What would he do.

He would fuck me with his sunglasses on and never break a sweat. Because he is just that cool.
So turn off the damn tv and treat me like the whore that I am.

By the way, I'm ovulating right now - and my hubby is thousands of miles away. I will sing the praises of my battery operated boyfriend in a few minutes.

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But all I really hear is "Blah blah, blah. Screw, screw, Screw. Blah blah Blaah."

Lol, too funny. (yes I know, it is a tragedy but it's too funny)

I've noticed (Now that I've been neutered...hehe) that I can tell there is a pattern to my horniness, too. Now that I'm not controlled by birth control hormones, and my body has cleared them out of my system (surgery was 1.5 years ago), there seems to be a pattern.
There can be a week in there where I don't even think about it. Not that I don't want it. Just that in my daily, busy activities... it just doesn't cross my mind. No urges...
But then, there's just some of those DAYS.... I just can't get it out of my mind! Mr. Diz and I will IM dirty talk, call each other with quick horny messages, I cruise the internet for "who knows what", I read more of my erotic/romance books than normal.... and I just can't wait.
And as you say... I'm just noticing now that it is all seeming to form a pattern around when my period is, or isn't...

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But all I really hear is "Blah blah, blah. Screw, screw, Screw. Blah blah Blaah."

That's too funny!

I work at a horse facility and we do breeding there. Some days all we can joke about is "sex, sex, sex".... Puts a whole new perspective on it.