As long as the desire had been building Kitti hadn't felt self conscious. Now though feelings of modesty and shame washed over her. No one had ever seen her masturbate before. She even refused to touch herself when her husband had asked to watch. It was her private space.
She had also failed to ever orgasm by masturbating before tonight. Not that it was an obsession, but she had tried. Up until now it had seemed a bit like tickling yourself, somehow impossible to do. The sensations had been pleasurable, but just never quite did it.
Kitti thought back to what brought her here. Up until a few days ago she would have never considered actually doing such a thing. It all started after she had posted her new year's resolutions on the anonymous blog that she shared with her husband.
Two that piqued a loyal reader's interest were the resolutions to learn to masturbate and buy and master a vibrator. She had posted that she wanted to do these by herself. She realized that it was important to learn more about her own sexuality, her own body. Until now she had relied on her husband to know how to touch her. He didn't always do it right and she wasn't able to tell him how to do it better.
The reader had sent a private email offering to help. It had been quite simple- "Hi Kitti, I'm a fan of your writings. I know it can be very intimidating for a woman to go to a sex shop to buy 'toys', but buying online you can't really gauge the products. I hold 'Pleasure Parties' for women to discreetly examine and discuss products. Sort of like a tupperware party for vibrators. Our next party is tomorrow afternoon. Would you like to come? Signed Amy"
Well that seemed helpful. Kitti arranged with one of the preschool moms to watch the kids and she was set. She went to the party and had a good time meeting some nice women and enjoying a little wine. She came away with a high quality but not overly intimidating vibrator. As the party broke up the hostess pulled her aside and said "I have a question for you to consider. Can you stick around for a few minutes?" Kitti agreed and they sat back down after the other guests had gone.
Amy began- "In addition to the Pleasure Parties I'm involved in a somewhat more risque business. I also manage an erotic theater of sorts. It's held in a big house up in Hollywood that we rent one day each week. Different patrons like different things, but based on some things you posted on your blog I wonder if you'd be interested?"
Kitti was a bit surprised. "Really I don't have that much interest in watching. What turns me on is the long, slow, romantic buildup not just watching people go at it. Sorry but I'm not interested."
Amy laughed. "No Kitti, you misunderstood. I'm not inviting you to come watch. I want you to perform."
Kitti was really surprised now. "I may have posted an interest in exploring my sexuality, a regret for not being with other men, even fantasy about being with two men, but it was only fantasy. I'm not going to act it out. Plus there are plenty of 'actresses' in LA to do that."
Again Amy had to clarify herself. "Sorry, let me start from the beginning. First you're beautiful. Not every man wants a shaved, barely adult woman stuffed with silicone. Men fantasize about women that are out of their league sure, but women that they have some chance of being with. But it's not just your looks."
"You've posted on your blog that you have never orgasmed from masturbation, that you've never put a vibrator or dildo inside of yourself. You've also mentioned more of an interest in being watched than watching. What would you think of having your first experience with these toys be before an audience?"
"You're actually serious aren't you?" Kitti asked. "I haven't done that in front of my husband, what makes you think I'd do it in front of strangers?"
Again Amy laughed. "Sort of like posting an anonymous blog to the internet with details of your private life that you wouldn't tell your best friend?"
"You have me there." Kitti replied. "Still, I couldn't do such a thing in front of strangers. With the internet they can read what I write; I like knowing that they're reading it; but I can't actually see them."
Amy grinned. "I'm way ahead of you there. At the house we have a playroom that's like those interview rooms in police TV shows. There are one-way mirrors on three sides so when you're inside all you see is the mirror. The audience sits around the outside and can see in."
Kitti shook her head. "No, I just can't do that. It's too seedy, I don't think so."
Amy stood up. "That's okay, I thought I'd suggest it and see what you thought. Be aware that it isn't seedy though. Everything we present is completely legal, at least here in LA. The house is in a very upscale part of the Hollywood hills. To avoid causing a problem with parking in the neighborhood, drunk driving, or other inappropriate stuff all of the patrons arrive by limousine. They pay a lot of money to come, and they're all upstanding citizens. Plus, you would never actually see any of the patrons."
Kitti considered Amy's words as she said goodbye. At home that night she was so totally turned on that she couldn't wait for the kids to get to sleep so she could make love to her husband.
She didn't open the new toys as she started to consider Amy's offer. She sent an email asking for more information; When, what, where. The reply came quickly. They did two events each week. Night time was a swingers' deal. Noontime was the more sedate entertainment that Amy envisioned Kitti participating in. If Kitti agreed, Amy would list her on the club website for the next Thursday.
Kitti asked what she would be expected to do. Amy's reply was reassuring. "Whatever you want. Just describe it and that's what I'll post. Don't worry, no one will be disappointed. The treat for those watching is that they know this isn't a contrived act. They know that you will be exploring yourself this way for the first time. In effect deflowering yourself. The thrill for the watchers will be the uncertainty of how it will work out."
Kitti felt her pulse racing. She sent a simple email. "OK." Amy replied "A limousine will pick you up at 10:30 next Thursday morning. Don't play with your new toys; I'll have a special one waiting for you."
So now here she was. Kitti had surprised herself by having an orgasm while masturbating with her hands. The thrill of performing before an audience had clearly gotten her very excited.
The very naughty aspect had worked its magic on her too. Even though she hadn't considered money, Amy had slipped an envelope full of cash into her purse as she arrived. She also said that the audience would show their appreciation as well. Kitti had been initially somewhat offended then just as quickly turned on. She was providing sexual excitement for money.
Now though the knowledge of that same audience seemed to suck the excitement out. The room suddenly felt twenty degrees colder and she wasn't sure what to do.
She resolved to not embarrass herself, to at least try to go through with it. Amy had told her that the new toy, the one she'd be expected to play with, would be in a red box in the room. Sure enough, a red satin box was sitting on a small stool in the corner of the room, where two of the mirrored walls met.
Still nude, Kitti steeled herself and walked over. She lifted the lid of the box, hands shaking as they always did when she was nervous. Inside was a rather threatening looking device. At the Pleasure Party Kitti had purposely chosen a fairly small, simple vibrator to take home. Here in the box though was one that seemed much more intimidating. She wondered what kind of trick Amy was playing.
What was Amy thinking? Was this a plan to humiliate her? Kitti wouldn't let that happen. She stood up straighter, proudly, and with a look of defiance picked up the toy and walked back to the bed.
